Another day dawns. Dialysis with Josh today. I am looking forward to chatting with him.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I made a card with iris folding and it looks very good even if I do say so myself. It is a very clever technique although it looks quite tricky, it is easier than you/I might think. Thank you B for your help and for introducing me to something new. It was also great catching up with your news.

My visit to the hairdressers with Guinevere the guinea pig went well. I now have 'new' hair. I am going to be wearing it in for a bit as it makes my head hurt when I wear it at the moment. Hopefully we will take photos soon. Paul thinks it makes me look younger (I am all for that)

I am feeling today that I would like a break from being ill. Just a few days when my days are not ruled by illness and treatment. A few days to tidy my house, go shopping, do the ironing, pack for my boy, cook meals etc...... All things that at the moment I am unable to do, all normal everyday Mummy stuff. I think this is a reflection of the fact that I am feeling better than I have for a long time (due to blood transfusion) but still not well enough to do these things. I am sure many Mums are now saying make the most of it but it is amazing that when these things are taken away how much you want to be able to do them. I am so grateful to Paul that he is holding us altogether and keeping the house running.

Today holds many things. A visit from a friend with plans to learn how to Iris fold, a visit from our lovely vicar and a trip to the hairdressers with the guinea pig! Maybe by tomorrow I will be the proud owner of a new head of hair. If it goes well I will post pictures.

Yesterdays dialysis went well. I am now less cold throughout the treatment, maybe due to the transfusion, so I was able to use my hands instead of having to keep them under the covers. Chloe and I played battle ships ( haven't played this since the boys were little), dominoes and tried to play backgammon. Mmmmmm I had forgotten the rules and we couldn't understand the instructions so we are going to look this up. We also completed some quizzes sent to us by Matt's mum. They were great fun. I had for gotten how competitive my quiet girlie is!

The dietician visited and said everything I wanted him to! Although my phosphate levels are now high the main priority is to keep my weight stable. So forget low fat, forget no sugar - go for it! So now cream and butter are the order of the day. He has also given me some renal drinks to try which should help when I am being sick. So hopefully I will not fade away!

We are wondering if there is anyone around to pick me up from dialysis tomorrow afternoon (Saturday). Paul is off to London again and can take me to dialysis but is unable to bring me home.

We would need picking up sometime between 4 and 5.

Yesterday our house was filled with people, noise and laughter. Perfect! My brother and his 2 girls came to visit and seemed to fill every corner of the house. Josh is also home for a while and Ed came to meet the girls. It is wonderful to have the energy of the little ones around. It is also a privilege to see the cousins building relationships together. How wonderful are families!

Today is dialysis and chest x-ray. Drs trying to rule out a chest infection as a reason for my cough. Maybe we will see the dietician today - who knows!

Today is starting slowly - some days are like that! Yesterday was a busy day. The wig adventure continued with our next visit. I am now the 'proud' owner of a guinea pig or that is what it looks like! The wig is made with 40% more hair than needed so that you can go and have it trimmed as you would like it. It therefore looks quite odd sitting on the top of my head. It is a good colour for me but just needs a bit of adjusting. Hopefully then I will be able to wear it without feeling like everyone is staring at the lady with the wig! I am surprised by my need to have hair as I thought it would be fine to wear scarves. I have however found there to be a couple of occasions where i have just wanted to be another person in a crowd of people not to know that everyone is looking at your scarf and thinking - poor them they have cancer. It is fine for people to know I have cancer and I am open about telling people and using the word cancer to help remove the stigma but I choose who I tell and when - my scarf announces it in big letters!

Today my brother and his girls are coming and I am looking forward to seeing them. They will fill the house with chatter and activity and it will be lovely. I am expecting lots of questions as they have been very interested in my hair loss.

I hope you all have a good day too.

I had a great day yesterday. In the morning I had coffee with 2 friends (one came as a surprise) catching up on all their news and trying to put the care system to rights! In the afternoon I had a friend come with her 2 girls. They should be prescribed on the NHS. It was wonderful. They arrived at 100 miles an hour and didn't stop talking for the whole afternoon. They brought with them all their things from the holiday club last week and told me all about it. Chloe and the girls made pink ( and when I say pink I mean very pink) sugar mice with lots of laughing and talking throughout. V thank you so much for bringing them they brightened my day so much.

Today may be a rather mammoth day again as I am seeing the wig lady and then waiting for dialysis. Maybe today I might have a wig - we will see as only 1 of the ones I chose has come yet. I am also seeing the dietician during dialysis - hopefully. I am hoping that he will be able to give me advice about eating more as I am loosing weight quite steadily at the moment. Most of my clothes are making me look like a saggy elephant! Ladies you know what I mean.

Chloe has her MRI scan today so we are hoping that will give some answers to her problems that will be easily solved. Josh has his appointment at the pain clinic next week . We are certainly keeping the NHS busy!

Joy in each day remains my catch phrase which seems to be working well. Although please don't think I don't have moments when all this is too much to take in. I am aware that I am coping in this way by God's grace and not by my own abilities which are useless. Yesterday I had a moment while watching a programme about the Lake District when I suddenly thought I might never go again. It was overwhelming for a few minutes. But thankfully it is only a few moments and then I am back to thinking about the here and now. The reminder in the name of this blog is so helpful - just enough light for today.

Ok yesterday turned out a little differently than we had planned. We spent most of the day in A&E trying out their chemo patient policies! They were impressive in their care of me and have restored my faith in A&E. As chemo patients often have low blood counts they have a policy of seeing you straight away and giving you antibiotics if needed within an hour, which they did. (we were seen within 5 minutes of arriving). I had quite a collection of tests to rule out anything. As ever, I was an impatient patient just wanting them to let me go home once they had decided what needed to happen. Poor Chloe had to put up with my moaning. All I wanted was my bed! After a lot of tests and discussions I had antibiotics to cover all bugs just in case and anti sickness medicine given. I was so glad to be home (there were moments when they were suggesting I might have to stay - not my plan at all)

Feeling much better today after lots of sleep and looking forward to seeing a friend for coffee this morning and a lovely family this afternoon. And hopefully no hospitals!

Just had an awful night coughing and being sick. Not much sleep. I was looking forward to bouncing like Tigger today but that seems to be unlikely as typing is taking all my energy! Not sure who we will ask for advice as Sundays are rest days and again not keen on a trip to a and e. Quite tricky to explain all thats going on with me over the phone. If you are reading this and would like to I would value your prayers.

Yesterdays dialysis went well and the blood transfusion straightforward. Matt brought an after dinner games box and we played one of those. Joy beating Chloe and I by a combination of luck and guesswork although I am sure she will say it was by amazing genius! Matt was quiz master. We also completed some crosswords and put the world to rights! Paul enjoyed his visit to London although we still wait for a demonstration of the height of the jumps!

My boys are looking forward to spending time together in Brighton. It is a great joy to have children who get on so well - there were days when we thought that might never happen.