I am feeling very grumpy this morning - Paul has just left to go to the church where we have had a break in. How can people steal from a church? and they leave so much mess to clear up. I am stamping my feet!!!!! (well not really but metaphorically).

Yesterday was lovely - a very packed day but it was great to feel so normal. I fitted in 4 activities along with normal Monday morning stuff. Wow! Not long ago I could do one thing in a day and that was it. How quickly I have forgotten how awful that was. It is good to be able to go back and look at my blog as I have detailed my life. This day a year ago I was 2 days away from surgery and feeling anxious. What an amazing difference a year makes. Having more energy is making such a difference as I can plan so many more things and even sometimes fit in extra things that I haven't planned. I do get very tired by the evenings but that's ok.

I am still struggling to drink but it is beginning to get easier. Paul is very good at reminding me. I am feeling ok and hoping my blood tests show on Thursday some more improvements. It will be interesting to see new Drs and have a new plan. I have spoken to breast care nurses about my arm and have an appointment to see lymphodema specialists in early December.

Well I am off now - lunch out with a friend today and more tidying (it is a never ending task). Not sure how I had time to work before!!!

Monday morning and we may have a poorly pussy cat. He is very very quiet - usually very vocal in the mornings and usually desperate to get outside but he is just laying on the bean bag in my bedroom. Wish he could talk! He may have a sore mouth as we think he was stung by a wasp in his mouth yesterday. He is such a silly cat as he will eat them. He is insistent that his job in life is to rid us of all creatures. It keeps him very busy! We will be keeping an eye on him.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day with lovely sunshine. A beautiful October has moved into a lovely November although today is more typical - grey! My joints are noticing the change in temperature and are aching more.

Today - plenty of business. I will be tired by this evening.

How lovely to wake to see the sun trying to peep through the clouds. Grey days are hard work! We are already nearly half way through November - where is the time going? Christmas will be here all too soon.

I am struggling to drink enough! Having switched off the messages to my brain to drink when I am thirsty I am finding it very hard to switch them on again. I don't drink when I am thirsty - in fact I tell myself not to drink then. You would think it would be easy to turn those messages on again but no! When I couldn't drink I used to imagine being able to drink whenever I liked!

It is so lovely to have the week stretching in front of me. I have lots of lovely things planned, lunches with friends, coffee out a couple of times. Kit maybe coming on Thursday which will be great as I haven't seen her for ages and I am really looking forward to seeing her Africa photos. I also have 3 or maybe 4 hospital visits to fit in. A blood test on Wednesday, the new kidney clinic on Thursday, Rheumatology on Friday and maybe a visit to the breast care nurse about my arm. Hopefully one week soon I won't have any hospital visits - you never know!

We have booked our first holiday for next year - yippee! I can't quite believe that we will be able to go away - we shall see.

Today church - remembering and roast dinner - yum.

11.11.11 - and at 11 we will stop and remember those who have given their lives for our freedom. I can't imagine what it must have been like to see your boys go off to war (or still is). I read this morning about a family of 8 boys who all went off to war and 5 of them died. How sad. I am so grateful that my boys don't have to go.

My input/ output is interesting and does suggest I need to drink more - wow! I am finding it very hard to drink more as I am so used to curbing all messages from my brain that tell me I am thirsty. I am really struggling to drink a whole cup of coffee. It feels very wrong.

Yesterday I noticed that my left arm is swollen. This is not a good thing as it could suggest lymphodema. This is caused by an increase in lymph in my arm which can't drain as I have no lymph glands under my arm. This will be very difficult to treat as I have my fistula in that arm too and can't wear compression bandages which is the usual treatment. We are going to watch it over the weekend and I will keep my arm up where possible and see if it improves otherwise I think it will be another trip to the hospital - ho hum! There is always something!!!!

We have a quiet weekend planned which is a good thing as I am quite tired still after our London trip. Today bible study and ladies who lunch.

Manon was truly beautiful yesterday. I was particularly struck by the dying scene at the end. It was so poignant and so very beautiful. The way the ballerina managed to drape her body and the emotion of her lover as he held her in her last minutes. I cried from the beginning of the ballet when I was so happy to be back at the Royal Opera House watching a real ballet. Not one recorded. Then at the end as you can imagine I cried lots! People around me must of thought how soppy I was !!! We had a lovely tappas meal ( Paul's first) which we both really enjoyed. Little dishes of different things so suit us. We managed to just miss the student protest which marched down The Strand just after we had walked down it. We could tell by the helicopters hovering over head and the large presence of police everywhere. I arrived home absolutely exhausted. I did manage to walk from Waterloo to Covent Garden and back again as the buses were cancelled due to the protest. Today I am regretting the walking!

I started today driving to Royal Berks at 7.45 to have my blood taken. Its a good time to go as the traffic is still not too busy and you can get a parking space. Its also a good time in the path lab. I only had to wait 5 minutes to be seen (my first time having my blood taken from a vein in nearly 16 months). The phlebotonist did a brilliant job using an old fashioned syringe and a needle rather than the new fangled bottles. I then had a lovely cup of coffee as a reward!! It was very strange going and buying my own coffee rather than being brought it in dialysis. It is amazingly busy at that time with lots of coming and going.

I then returned to the hospital to see the registrar in the afternoon - unfortunately he was still in Windsor! Ho hum! Eventually they found him and the nurses in dialysis reported my blood tests to him down the phone. My tests are mostly looking good - my diet restrictions are working. However a couple are creeping up and he thinks that is due to me not drinking enough!!!!! Goodness I feel like I can't win! So I am doing an input- output chart for 24 hours. I will have another blood test next week before going to the Kidney care clinic - sometimes called the low clearance clinic. - not a good name.

When my results came back today and they weren't as perfect as last week I felt quite anxious as I am beginning to realise how sad I would be to go back to dialysis now. I so love having more time and am really enjoying feeling normally tired rather than yucky every other day. In dialysis I so felt for the patients all having dialysis. They are really lovely and very happy for me but I know they wish it was them.

London today - yippee! Paul and I are off to see the ballet Manon. I am really looking forward to going. I have so missed being able to go up to London regularly and have felt sad when Paul has gone on his own. We are so lucky to live near the station and London is so easy to get to. Seeing the ballet was something I thought a lot about when I was feeling so ill last year. There were times when I thought I might never be well enough to go again. I am hoping to do a bit of Covent Garden browsing too - if Paul can bear it!

Yesterdays business was great although I was very tired by the evening. I seem to reach a point where I switch off and can't cope with any more - I used to be able to just keep going before. It is good to be reminded that I am not better yet and that I still need to be careful. However it is so lovely to be doing so many normal things. I do love my life.

Our new sofas arrived yesterday (I will try and take photos later) and they look so lovely. Its great to have one room in the house which is tidy!

Enjoy your Wednesdays.

Busy day today - 2 x coffee with friends! New sofas being delivered and some cooking - lovely. Not what you would expect from a kidney patient! So much better day planned than dialysis. I am getting quite tearful at the moment as I come to terms with what has happened. I am so grateful to have stopped dialysis. I can't tell you the change it has made to my life already - just in 2 weeks. The biggest change is not having to cope with feeling rubbish 3 days a week. That is a lot of time feeling yuck. Every day I am doing more and fitting more in. I am off now to start my day.