I have struggled all week feeling very tired - post holiday exhaustion . Today - given in and gone to bed. When I get tired like this it is impossible to keep going. It is not the sort of tiredness that gets better after a sleep - it feels like my very bones are too tired to function!   I think I may need to stop for a few days and let my body recover. It is frustrating but something I have to accept. I keep thinking I am well again and am reminded that my body is still in a battle and may always be.

I need to recover as we have tickets to Chelsea again next week - I am feeling excited as I look at the gardens. I am especially looking forward to seeing my lovely Koren gardener who has designed a show garden this year.

Today Chloe gave her presentation of her project and she comes home tomorrow for a months holiday. Not sure how much we will see of her she is working at the boat show next week, and going to Annecy with Ed and his family and going on a few days cycle ride. Its lovely for her to stop though and not think about patients and illness.

My favourite place in all the world. And I was able to go - hurrah! It was hard to say goodbye as I never know what the future holds.

We had a wonderful 6 days plenty of rain and some sunshine. All our travel plans went well on the way there  and we arrived to be met by our lovely taxi man. The hotel couldn't have made us more welcome and went out of their way to make sure that I had plenty to eat! Even leaving tomatoes out of everyones soup one evening so that I could have it. We had a little apartment which was so lovely and gave Paul space to sit in when i was having a rest. Not that he used it much as he walked. Chloe arrived safely on Thursday - her journey had been a little more adventurous and involved 2 phone calls to the taxi company to say she would be late. It was lovely to have her with us. We walked, went on bus trips, boat trips, shopped, visited Wordsworth's house, walked some more, watched lambs, walked some more and ate SO MUCH! It was perfect in every way. We had plenty of rain but it didn't stop us doing anything and we even had a day of sunshine. Everything was just as I had remembered and I felt so very thankful to be able to go. I have stored a whole heap of forever memories. I very much hope to be able to go back but if not those memories are stored away to bring to mind when needed.

The mountains and lakes so remind me of the wonderful creator we have who unconditionally loves me. I love that the scenery doesn't change - a testament to the unchanging nature of God. He is and was and is to come. Those mountains were there long before I was and they will be there for my grandchildren and great grandchildren long after I am gone.

There are more pictures on facebook

We're back - all fine had a lovely lovely holiday. Details and photos later. Thank you for all your emails and texts wishing us a happy holiday. Tidy up and washing day today! Back to the real world!

One day to go - hurrah! Just getting everything sorted at home and finish packing and we shall be off. I still can't believe it will happen. I want to go now before anything can stop us! We will be quite out of touch when we are there which will be strange. Our mobiles don't get signal - too many hills and we won't have a TV or computer. It will be very peaceful. We will be doing lots of little walks(probably in the rain), lots of reading and knitting and drinking coffee! Maybe even a few scones and rum butter - yummy! I am going to try and be less strict about my diet for 6 days but still drink lots of fluid. Hopefully that will be OK especially as my blood count was so good last week. It will be SO lovely to be away and to be in my favourite place in all the world.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the last 3 years and when will it stop defining who I am. It is very hard  to think beyond illness as it has so shaped my life. I feel that if I meet new people now I have to explain about what has happened because I am so different to the person I was. When will that stop being the case? When will I just get on with life? Will I ever? My body limits what I can do and that is hard to come to terms with. Having said that I do so much more now than a year ago - maybe that will keep increasing. mmmmmmm lots to think about. It would be better if I wasn't a thinker - then I would just get on with it!

So this is my last post for a week - when we meet again I will have had my holiday and will be suffering post holiday blues!!!!

Well what do you think of my new background? Just right for this weather!!! I will change it again when we get sunshine!

Just 2 days until our holiday - yippee! I have nearly finished my packing and just want to go. Tuesday is taking such a long time to get here. I keep thinking something will happen and we won't go. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I can't wait.

My finished cardigan for dialysis - only 7 months late!

Friday - 4 days to go! The countdown has begun. Hoping the weather will improve by Tuesday. It would be really lovely to have one sunny day.

Today - shopping, flower arranging, ladies who lunch, bible study, cooking.

Me in the Rooftop Restaurant  RSC theatre 

Cocktails - very yummy! 

The theatre including swimming pool! 

Shakespeare's House and a little drowned rat!!!!

The view from the Rooftop

As you can see from the pictures we had a wonderful if rather wet 2 days in Stratford. Everything was perfect (apart from the rain!) 

Twelfth Night was really magical - we had wonderful seats although I think it would be difficult not to have a good seat in the new theatre. The actors were all great and the scenery and  costumes were outstanding. I loved it and would have been very happy to see it all again straight away! We can also recommend the Rooftop restaurant where the food (and cocktails) were extremely good. 

Visiting Shakespeare's House was a great pleasure with actors who interacted with the visitors. They were very knowledgeable and answered our questions very well. We were privileged to have one perform a speech from one play and another sing one of the songs. As it wasn't busy they gave us lots of time which was great. 

We even managed a little shopping in M&S. 

Yesterdays appointment with the renal consultant went well. This time it was a Dr who I saw when I was first admitted. He attached my first neckline for  dialysis. he was very sweet and told me 3 times he wouldn't have recognised me! Not surprising as I now have hair!!! He was very pleased with my progress and said that my levels are now very stable. He said that he felt that my kidneys would now remain stable as long as the cancer remains gone.     My blood pressure is still a bit up and down so he has increased my drugs and gave me an appointment for 4 months time. 

This week has gone past so quickly and I haven't done all that I wanted to but hey ho! Just 5 days until we go away - I think it is going to happen . Wow!