Yesterday I spent the day in bed feeling very frustrated. I began the day by being very sick. Another reminder I think that I have been too busy! It does seem to be my default setting now if I don't rest after busy days I get sick. I think I will have to take this seriously and go back to planning rest days again because being sick is so horrible. You would think I would get used to it - but I don't. It is such a reminder that I am still unwell and probably will never be completely well again. I have to re-arrange my thinking and accept that although I am SO much better than I was my body is still poorly. Ho hum! 

After that moaning let me say I am feeling much better today. Thankful for a new day, even a rainy one. Today sorting with a friend and coffee with a smaller friend. And a rest in between!  

I had finished writing this and then read Lisa Leonard's blog where she writes answering a question - 

How do you stay so positive all the time? I don’t. I mean, yes, in general I am happy and thankful. I love my little family and although David has a severe disability, I’ve accepted that and I don’t dwell on it. I have down days, where I let myself be sad and cry. But I can’t live there. There is too much life to be lived. This is my life–I can either embrace it or complain about it. I choose to embrace it. Despite the pain, there is joy to be found.

Maybe I need to be listening to this - less complaining and more getting on with it - embracing life with its restrictions. Making right choices so that I can live the joyful life. Accepting and not dwelling there. Chronic illness is hard but other things are hard too. I still choose joy! 

I have decided I like Autumn again. I am coping well with the colder days and using my layers, gloves and coats etc... The colours are SO beautiful. Now to work on loving rainy days!!!!! 

I have begun to think about Christmas (I know for many of you it is much too soon) but I love Christmas and having my family all together and I love a plan! We are having to make new plans as for the first time I won't have one of my children with me for Christmas day. So we are thinking about how to make it differently special. I am so grateful that I do manage to see all my siblings and their families either on Christmas day or Boxing day. However it is getting harder and harder to arrange everything. So planning is essential and compromise happens. I know for many of you it can be difficult to sort out and causes all sorts of arguments. I am hoping we can work it all out peacefully. 

Today coffee and catching up with my friend. Lovely! 

Lovely day with my girlie. We shopped ate and chatted - perfect. Then Strictly with Joy and Chloe. A great mix of people and some wonderful dresses. I would love a ballroom sparkly dress - no idea when I would wear it though! We have put our twinkly lights back up too which is lovely, perfect for a dark Autumn evening. Papageno is very confused by the curtains. In the summer we leave them open at night but last night I drew them. He went wild, climbing up them and trying to chase them away. He stalked them and then looked up at me as if to say - get rid of these they hamper my view. He is a funny cat! 

Today church followed by roast - lovely. Chloe is then off to Southampton for her next placement in the renal department. She is staying in a friends house. It will be nice for her  to be in a house rather than grotty hospital accommodation. 

This week - helping at cameo, tutoring, coffee with friends, helping a friend sort, flowers, book sorting for church, bible study, Knitting and stitching show with Chloe. Maybe a bit of tidying, cooking and ironing thrown in! My weeks are usually packed now which is wonderful! I am enjoying new challenges and most days are busy. I love the variety and I am thankful for the energy to do so much. 

We had a lovely lovely day yesterday. It was my first visit to Buckingham Palace. I enjoyed seeing the State rooms but  wished we could see more. I would so like a glimpse of their real lives and their kitchens!! Although I completely understand why we can't! Their lives are so different from mine! These pictures are taken from the gardens which are lovely although you are aware that you are in the middle of busy London. 

After the Palace we decided that I still had some energy left so we went to the Royal Academy to see the Bronze exhibition. I had forgotten that I liked bronzes until we were there! I fell in love with them in Florence. There was the most beautiful tiny bronze of a man in the exhibition which you were allowed to touch. I would have loved to bring him home. They can keep their huge statues and heads but this little man was very wonderful. 

 Earlier in the week we went for a walk which ended at a farm shop. These are pictures of their lovely chickens and tiny piglets. I love the gentle cooing that chickens make - although I am not sure I would like to wake to that sound every day!

This weekend - flowers, ladies who lunch and bible study, 
Chloe home, Strictly, shopping with Chloe, more Strictly with Joy and Chloe, church, roast dinner - and planning next Saturdays visit to The Knitting and Stitching Show!  A lovely weekend! 

'I’m letting it be imperfect but beautiful at the same time.' Lisa Leonard 

This is a quote from a  blog I follow. They have made a trailer for a reality show they are to be part of http://youtu.be/JJXJq4-2YDE. She is inspiring both for the work she does but also for the way she is bringing up her boys. I love that she takes her life with it's imperfections and thinks that it is beautiful as it is. That fits with me. My life has many imperfections but it is beautiful and I love it. 

Today off to Buckingham Palace to see the queen (well probably not but hey ho). I am looking forward to seeing where her Majesty lives some of the time. And it is another beautiful Autumn day - yippee! 

Blood tests all fine - wonderful news! Even my potassium is fine despite eating lots more tomatoes and even a few bananas. Woke this morning with a terrible headache and was sick - yucky start but very thankful that we have paracetamol which soon sorted it. Think that is connected to the BP tablets. Chronic illness is hard to cope with as it never goes away - there is always something niggling away.

What a beautiful morning quite still and peaceful.

AUTUMN 

The summer-flower has run to seed,

And yellow is the woodland bough;

And every leaf of bush and weed

Is tipt with autumn’s pencil now.

And I do love the varied hue,

And I do love the browning plain;

And I do love each scene to view,

That’s mark’d with beauties of her reign.

John Clare 

 

I love the changing colours that we are seeing all around us now. The promise that one season follows another and so it is in life. At times over the last 3 years I have had to remind myself that - 'this too shall pass'. Just as seasons come and go so our lives go through hard and easier times.  Winter is always followed by Spring. It is part of the reliability of our unchanging God. The poem above beautifully describes the 'Autumn pencil' colouring creation. I am grateful for the changing seasons. - Remind me of that when I am moaning in February! 

I had a lovely shopping time yesterday buying some new winter skirts in a bigger size! I have done very well at putting back some of the weight I lost but I need to stop now or I will have to get back all the clothes I gave away! 

Today I am going to have a blood test to check my kidneys - I am praying all is ok as I am adjusting to these new tablets and don't want to change again so soon!