Glad to be feeling less sick now. My coffee this morning tasted like coffee - yippee!

Chloe and I had a lovely morning yesterday with C (my patchwork friend). She helped me to sew on the wadding for my cushion. I now have to quilt the cushion. It is going to look wonderful when I have finished. It will be a 'forever' cushion as it has had so much work put into it. I have told Chloe to look after it for ever!!!! Chloe is making a quilt which is also going to look wonderful. When you see the amount of work that goes into quilts you can see why they are so special. We are both loving it.

It is lovely to see the sunshine again today as I look out of my window. Thank you for the emails and messages you have sent reminding me to keep going! I am OK, still cheerful most days although this has been a bit of a tough couple of weeks. I am still finding joy in each day and I am so grateful to family and friends who keep me going. I went to housegroup last night which was lovely and I am so grateful for their support and love. It was the first time I have been out in the evening for ages.

My school have decided to support the breast cancer awareness campaign by dressing in pink on 22nd October. It is wonderful to be so supported by work.

I am really looking forward to the weekend - Kitty, Chloe and Strictly - yippee. Today dialysis on my own with my kindle, knitting and the commonwealth games I should be OK!

I am looking forward to today - no dialysis and coffee with my patchwork friend and Chloe. She is going back today and will come back on Saturday to see Kit. I love having her home.

Dialysis yesterday was a bit up and down. My BP dropped suddenly and I felt yucky and sick. Thankfully it was quickly sorted. It continues to be difficult to work out how much fluid to remove as my weight continues to drop. Thankfully I am feeling less sick and eating a bit better.

I have finished my book 'God on mute' I am now trying to think through the things that it had to say. It has been very helpful in my thinking and my understanding.

Not sure what to write today. I am feeling like I am getting repetitive as my life is following a sort of pattern. But I continue to need your prayers. Ben continues to find life hard and we would value you praying that we are wise parents in our decisions and our words. It is so hard to see him hurting and be unable to help. Chloe has come home for a couple of days to help out which is wonderful. Sometimes I feel we are a family clinging on by our finger tips and other times we seem to be coping so well! We are still laughing lots which is good.

Today I have dialysis with a friend and I am going to teach her how to play Chinese chequers. I love playing although I struggle to win! I have started knitting a jumper for myself which will be great if I mange to finish it. I will keep you posted on its progress. It is great that my fingers are so much better that I can manage to knit more than a row at a time.

I need to go now as my man is here for the dongle!

Quite a difficult weekend in many ways. I am coming to the end of my book 'God on mute' and feel I am being challenged to keep holding on despite all that is happening around and to me. Thankfully God doesn't change despite everything else changing.

I am glad to say that I am feeling less sick today - hopefully I am coming to the end of the sickness for this chemo. It has been harder to cope with this time and I am eating very little.

This week holds visits from friends, patchwork, knitting,reading, bible study, Commonwealth games, Strictly, blood tests, dialysis and ends with Chloe and Kit at the weekend. I am aware that my haemoglobin is dropping again so I will be taking everything slowly until I can have a blood transfusion probably next week. Hopefully my white cell count is picking up so I am less vulnerable to germs.

Dialysis fine with Josh yesterday. Lovely to have time to chat. He is loving his job which is wonderful and a real answer to prayer. I am quite proud of my boy.

Strictly was wonderful last night although I wanted it to go on for longer. I had a sick evening after dialysis and felt quite yucky. I feel a bit better this morning but still not quite right. I am going to stay at home this morning as my blood count is low and I don't want to risk colds etc.... Although thankfully I seem to have managed to not get Ben or Paul's colds.

The weather outside is yucky so I am grateful for my warm house and cosy nest!

Josh is home -hurrah. It was lovely to have him home last night. We watched Strictly together tucked up in bed - yummy. This morning Paul is making cooked breakfast. Wish that was going to be yummy! Still struggling with everything tasting yuck. Woke a couple of times in the night with pain in my back from the injections for my white cells but thankfully paracetamol sorted it. Thank you for your prayers about that girlies.

Yesterday was a happy day. I am feeling much less grumpy again. I enjoyed bible study. It is such a joy to share your life with others and for them to share theirs.

I am 'enjoying' ( not sure that is the right word for a book on suffering) my book called 'God on Mute' It is reflecting what my experience has been and what my understanding of suffering is. It covers so many areas understanding how difficult it is to face unanswered prayers.

I am now noticing that my eyebrows are falling out. Luckily as I am fair it isn't very noticeable to others. Soon I won't have any hair on my body anywhere - saves money on haircuts and time from shaving. There have to be some advantages!!!!

Dialysis today with Josh. Looking forward to chatting with him. And more strictly tonight yippee hope I am back from dialysis in time. Do you think I can tell them I have an important date with the TV ?

So it's Friday again - how did that happen? This week has gone so quickly. I am enjoying the signs of Autumn and grateful for the sunshine yesterday. Grateful for my warm house and especially for my new electric blanket- why have I not had one before? It's good my grumpy mood of yesterday has gone.

Josh comes home for the weekend - yippee! We also have bible study here today. I am looking forward to spending time with the girlies. And best of all STRICTLY starts!

I am reading a book 'God on Mute' and this morning I was reminded that Jesus knows my pain - he understands where I am coming from. He knows the anguish of facing death and asked God to take it away. If he can be so honest then so can I. I love my life and want to live. I want to be there for all those moments in my childrens lives. All you Mums and Dads will know what I mean. So I continue with treatment and battle with side effects and trust that the Creator of the world has the best plan for us all.