9 days and the dress fits thankfully!

Yesterday lovely. Great to catch up with friends and some wonderful tennis.

Today dialysis with Kit more lining and needling.

10 days! Today I will try on my dress in case i have put on too much weight. That would be a disaster.

Lovely seeing my friend yesterday I managed to line my machine with only a little help. Dialysis was a bit yuck as I went in with quite low blood pressure and it then dropped on and off all the way through and even when I was finished.

Today lunch with a friend and seeing another friend after school. Lots of catching up.

We are looking at Psalm 23 on Friday - what great words. Here taken from the amplified bible.

A Psalm of David.

¹THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

²He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.^(A)

³He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.

⁴Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with^[a]oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

⁶Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.

So even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I won't fear because he is there guiding and protecting me. I need to be reminded of those words when fear rears its head, particularly in the darkness of the night. Some translations have the passage 'the shadow of death' as the deepest darkness. That is how it feels sometimes. Thankfully not often. Thankfully my experience is that goodness, mercy and unfailing love are following me all my days.

11 days - oh it is getting so close now. I almost don't want it to come because that means it will then be over. I am SO glad I will be there. I am warning everyone I will cry!

Yesterday was so lovely. I was slightly anxious that spa days wouldn't be for me but my friend suggested that I thought of it like a holiday and that works. Time out from life. The very good news is that I can swim in a straight line! Swimming looks like being very good exercise for me although having low hb means that I got puffed very quickly. But at least I could swim and I will continue to do so. We had a lovely day catching up on our lives and enjoying the surroundings. It felt odd to have lunch sitting with everyone in their dressing gowns. I really enjoyed the bubble pool (sure it isn't called that) which was very good for all my aches and pains and I loved the heated mosaic loungers. I would love to have one of those at home. The temperature was perfect for me - no white fingers at all. All in all a wonderful day.

Back to reality today - dialysis! However it will be good to be spending time with D and more lining and needling. And possibly some tennis.

I have had a really lovely day. We started at church with the challenge to make prayer a good habit. Lovely seeing everyone and chatting. Then on to Savill with Paul and Chloe. We arrived and heard a voice from the car next door calling our names. It was my Aunt and Uncle who on reading my blog this morning decided to drive from Eastbourne and meet us. What a lovely surprise and amazing timing as they arrived just as we did. We had a lovely day together catching up on all their news and sharing our beautiful garden! It was such wonderful sunshine.

I am writing now as tomorrow I am going to Nirvana Spa with a friend. I am looking forward to spending time with her. Will update after my trip - with details of my first swim!!! Hoping to swim in a straight line not in circles! We shall see. Hope you have all had weekends full of sunshine.

13 days. Dialysis fine yesterday. Lined my machine with a bit of help but no mistakes. Got my needles 3/4 in just not the final push. Getting there!

Today Church and Savill gardens. Looking forward to the sun - hopefully!

14 days! Hope in 2 weeks we don't wake up to rain but beautiful sunshine. Josh and Debz are off to their friends wedding today. Hope they have a wonderful day.

Yesterday felt like a real day. I went into work - and loved seeing everyone. It just felt right to be there as if nothing changes. Ladies who lunch and bible study was very good. Chicken kebabs for tea. beginning to have more energy. Hurrah! I looked in the mirror in the evening and expected to see my hair! It was a shock to be bald.

I have started my day with yummy pancakes - all days should start like that. Pity it has to include dialysis but hey ho! Hopefully more lining and maybe needling. Maybe today will be the day I manage to needle myself completely.

I am looking forward to Monday when I am going to Nirvana Spa with a friend. I have never been to a spa and not sure what I will make of it. In my old normal me sitting for a day would be unheard of but now I am so much better at sitting. We shall also see how the swimming goes. Still anticipating that i will swim in circles due to my muscle weakness and scapula problems if I can swim at all! I also need to consider the changing room dilemma - to change in communal changing room or personal one. I am very ok with how I look and think my scar tells the story of my journey but I would hate to make someone else feel uncomfortable. However maybe it could help someone else to face it in the future - mmmmm. I think due to all your prayers I have never felt sad about the mastectomy and am so grateful to have had such a good surgeon to make such a neat scar. Maybe I will just see how I feel when I am there.

Tomorrow we are off to Savill Gardens again to see roses in the dry. Taking Chloe for a break in her revision - she is working so hard.

15 days! Happy it's Friday and no dialysis. Yesterdays dialysis went well. I lined my machine myself only forgetting one crucial bit! Thankfully the machine lets you know when a line isn't connected. I had another go with my needles but still can't get them in the last bit. Eventually I will do it.

Busy day today - coffee at school, ladies who lunch and bible study. Also a bit of tidying so there is space for sitting down. Looking forward to the sunshine this weekend - my swing seat hasn't had enough use.