Saturday - no dialysis! Blood tests done at 8 am. Also injection to encourage my bone marrow to make red blood cells. We had a lovely chat with one of the senior nurses who had found out the plan for me ( as you all know I love a plan). Monday will probably be my last blood test at the dialysis unit and if I am still feeling OK I will see the consultant and will then be passed to the pre-dialysis unit. At the pre-dialysis unit they will monitor my blood probably twice a week to begin with and keep an eye on me. I will be given drugs to help with the fluid overload that I will still have as a result of my kidneys only partially working. I will also see the dietician to discuss a stricter renal diet. This all supposes that my blood results today and Monday are ok and by ok this means monitoring my creatinine levels and my potassium levels along with others. They are prepared to let my creatinine levels rise to a level which I have only reached when very poorly. This is because they have to allow my kidneys to kick into life properly and that might take a little while.

I am still trying not to be too hopeful but it is hard not to be now when everyone is telling me that it looks very likely that my kidneys are beginning to work. We still have the next few weeks to get through and that could still get quite scary.

I have had a lovely day today. Chloe and I went to Windsor and shopped. We had lunch in a Tappas bar and drank sangria. All lovely! Not at all what I would normally be doing on a dialysis day!

I am holding on tight and hoping and trusting. He is faithful no matter what the outcome of this week.

So here we are day 2 of no dialysis and all is fine so far. I could feel the fluid last night but feel better again this morning. The blood results are in for yesterday and are normal for a pre-dialysis session. They are now the benchmark and we will see what happens to them on Saturday. They may slowly increase, which means they will leave it and see what happens; slowly decrease which will mean that my kidneys are trying to work; or suddenly increase which would mean having dialysis very quickly. Obviously we want them to be decreasing showing that my kidneys are trying or are working. I am hoping that a renal consultant will be making the decision as to what happens tomorrow not a junior Dr who may panic and start dialysis. The other change that will have to happen next week if I continue with no dialysis is that my diet will have to become a strict renal diet to give my kidneys the best chance. The renal diet is quite a hard diet for me as if I think of something I like it is probably not allowed! So it means cutting down or leaving out - chocolate, nuts, oranges including juice, bananas, cheese, potatoes unless soaked and boiled, tomatoes, milk, pate, mushrooms, apricots, dried fruit, beans, bacon, marmite. Anyone who knows me will know how hard that sounds but hey- ho. Dialysis or diet I know which I would choose!

Yesterday was lovely. I had my blood tests at 8 am and then Paul dropped me in Reading. I had a lovely morning shopping on my own. Something I would never be able to do on a normal dialysis day. We then went out to lunch with Joy and Matt. It was a really lovely day.

Today I have 2 friends coming and we are going out for coffee. Then this afternoon Chloe is coming home. It will be great to have her over the weekend as we face whatever may come. I am looking forward to next week and knowing the outcome - I have never been very good at waiting. I continue to trust that God is in control of all that is happening. Because of that I can be peaceful (most of the time). We are hoping to do something nice tomorrow although we will need to be nearish to the hospital as by lunchtime they may be phoning to say come back and have dialysis - we shall see.

I will let you know. Please keep praying - not just for me but for my family as they wait. It is a strange time.

Today is my first day without dialysis. I can't believe I am writing that. (See last post for more details) It is feeling quite scary as now my kidneys have to really get going otherwise I will have difficulties breathing as the fluid settles on my lungs. It is exciting too though as this is the only way to see if there is enough function in my kidneys to cope without dialysis. If that is possible then what a change to my life. I keep going round and round in circles in my thinking as I am sure you can imagine. I don't want to hope too much as that would be SO disappointing if it didn't work out but I am hoping a bit and thinking how wonderful that would be. I need to just keep holding on to the creators hand and he will guide me through this.

It will be very strange going to dialysis today and just having a blood test and no dialysis. I am not sure what to say to the other dialysis patients as it seems so unfair to them. Some have done dialysis for so long.

After my blood tests I am going to go shopping on my own - lovely. Then lunch with Joy, Matt and Paul.

I will update here daily again for a while to let you know how I am getting on. Please pray for us over the next few days - it may be a bit of a bumpy ride! But I am holding on tight and ready for whatever comes - I hope!

It is with bated breath that I write this. I have seen the renal consultant at the hospital today. She has decided that as my blood results have been so good recently that it could be that my kidneys are beginning to recover. She felt that it was worth stopping dialysis and seeing what happens. So I had my last dialysis session today and we now wait and see. I will go to the hospital for blood tests every other day and increase my fluid intake. We will then see what is happening to my blood results within a few days. It maybe that I will have to have dialysis urgently but they will fit me in when ever I need to. It could be that this is all my kidneys need to start working properly or it maybe that I will need to go back on dialysis and retry at a further date. Everyone is very amazed, as the consultant had told me that after this length of time on dialysis it would be VERY unlikely for my kidneys to recover. As you can imagine we are praising our God who is able to do more than we ask or imagine……

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Eph 3 v20

Please pray with us that all will be well. I am trusting totally that whatever the outcome God is in charge and that He knows all things. Please pray for our family as they also wait with bated breath. I continue to hold the hand of the creator God.

On an aside – my bone scan and mammogram have come back clear. I will see the oncologist again in 3 months. I saw him today and was able to give him the news. His immediate response was – what an answer to prayer. Before this all happened I also saw the home dialysis nurse and I am to be the second patient in the unit to start home dialysis (now only possibly) which would happen in the middle of December. When I have got my head around all this I will write more but at the moment I feel like we are in a dream and I think I will remain like this for a while. It is a bit scary but the hospital are very supportive and will be there whatever the outcome.

Busy week! Feeling much better although still struggling with a cough which is annoying. We have done some gardening - winter boxes to add colour to the garden. they look lovely. I have done lots of cooking including my first chicken pie - ever! And I have tidied - half a lounge but better than none and I have attacked some of my piles which have been accumulating everywhere!I have made a list of projects I have started with the plan to get some of them finished before I start new ones - mmmm not sure that will happen as I have lots of nice Christmas making plans.

I have a very sore arm from the flu jab yesterday. The nurse seemed to aim very high up on my arm close to my shoulder joint - not sure it is supposed to be so high up. Any way it was very sore when it went in and kept me awake in the night. At least my shoulder won't get flu!!!!

Yesterday my photobook arrived with pictures of my party - what a joy. I love looking at it as it brings flooding back the memories of the evening. I am so grateful to you all for making the evening so wonderful.

Half-term begins today - so strange not to be at work and looking forward to a week off. On Monday when I went to the cinema I felt SO naughty as if I was cheating. We were 2 of only 4 people in the cinema - very quiet and peaceful - apart from my coughing. Monday mornings are a very good time to go. We shall be going again- because we can!

Chloe's weekend in Cornwall was wonderful - she sailed with dolphins and rode 11.5 miles on her bike along the camel trail. Not such a good week for her as she has fallen off her bike after hitting a dog and now is poorly with a bug.

Josh is enjoying married life and his company have just been awarded a project for 'Stomp', doing all their anniversary advertising.

Well this blog has been rather rambling and disjointed.

BREAKING NEWS
I have just had a phone call from the new home dialysis nurse. She is coming to see me next week but just wanted me to know that we will probably be starting home dialysis BEFORE Christmas. Wow! I am so excited and scared all mixed up. It will be life changing to be able to do it at home. No more early morning trips to Reading and choosing when I do it to fit in with our lives. No more being freezing in the hospital and being able to have my own things around me. No more worrying about when it snows and we struggle to get to the hospital. But also the scariness of being responsible for all my own dialysis. Always having to get my needles in, always having to make the decisions about what I am doing - wow! Please pray that it all goes well and that all the practical stuff can be sorted - we need a sink putting in and my bedroom organised for dialysis. We will need a place to store all the stuff and a place to put all the stuff we now have in the room. So much to think about - goodness me.

I hope you all have great weekend plans. Ours will now be related to home dialysis!

http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/927053217

My party was truly wonderful. I loved every minute of it. I am so grateful to everyone who was able to come - thank you. Especially those of you who came such long distances. Also a huge thank you to those of you who sang or did readings or spoke. And thank you to those of you who helped set up, decorate and made the hall look beautiful. And a very special thank you to my bible study ladies without whom the whole thing wouldn't have been possible. I will treasure the memories in my heart.

Photos taken by my lovely photographer Zara are here
http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/927053217

Unfortunately my week since then has been a bit yuck! I have had a yucky throat infection which turned into a cold. I haven't had a proper cold for 2 years so I can't complain but i have been proper poorly. I don't seem to have any resistance to fight so it makes me feel very yuck and also makes me sick. Ugh! This then affects dialysis and I am then poorly in dialysis. Still hopefully I am on the mend now and looking forward to feeling much better next week. I think I might go back to trying to avoid bugs again - I am not ready for them yet!

The coming week holds a peaceful weekend after last weeks very very busy one. It was SO lovely to have everyone home and we all fitted in very nicely although I think the house felt it was bulging at the seams! On Sunday I cooked roast dinner for 8 of us quite an achievement after a party for 70 the night before. But it was lovely to have all my children and partners around the table and Kitty. We then watched strictly from Saturday evening - a perfect combination, roast dinner, strictly and family. It won't be quite the same watching strictly on my own this weekend. I am off to the cinema on Monday morning with a friend - purple hat thinking! I will feel very naughty being at the cinema on a weekday! Hopefully some catching up on house tidying after being ill all this week. Also some cooking - we have had make do and mend meals this week. I can't believe we are nearly at half term it has gone so quickly. Paul and I are planning some nice events for the next few weeks so that we have nice things to look forward to as it gets colder. A trip to see the Degas exhibition at The Royal Academy and a visit to The Royal Opera House to see Manon - a ballet. Lovely!

Hope you all have great weekend plans - which should include Strictly of course! My girlie is off to Cornwall - I am so jealous!