A week of contrasts

Another week of contrasts. Lots of lovely time with friends having coffee and learning how to make pasta with my ladies in a hilarious evening. I am so thankful for all the wonderful people I have in my life. 

I am trying  to add some gentle exercise now that I am in my new normal. I have walked into Wokingham a few times and went swimming with Paul. I managed to swim 3 lengths - which sounds pathetic but is at least a beginning. The struggle I have is balancing the exercise with the tiredness it then produces.

We had results day on Thursday and thankfully Ben has done well and will be continuing at Reading next year. Also our lovely Anna (Ben's girlfriend) has done amazingly well and will be going to  Birmingham to study medicine.

My mammogram is done and I should get the results next Tuesday. It is always a hard reminder of the day they found the lump when I sit in the mammogram suite. I went in so confident that they would find nothing after being examined by 2 GPs, 2 Consultants and 2 nurses all who had said it was fine! It shows the importance of going for mammograms.

This weekend - Paul and I are off to the ballet in London. We are seeing the Bolshoi Ballet dance The Flames of Paris which I am really looking forward to. Its a while since I have been.

Colour at Savil

Mummy duck watching her babies

 Lovely day yesterday - busy church. Great to see so many people even though it is summer. We were reminded that  

The Lord is in his holy temple;
    the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes everyone on earth;
    his eyes examine them.Psalm 11. 

How reassuring to know that God is always aware of everything that is happening - all the time. It is easy to think when things are going wrong that he has taken his eye off the situation.

Dappled sunlight

 A good reminder that he is in charge and even when all around us seems to be collapsing - he is there with us in the middle of our despair.

My man on a bridge

 Then onto Savil - looking great it its summer clothes! The colours of some of the borders was stunning, especially with the dappled sunlight which we had yesterday. 

We also had a yummy lunch - I love food! So different than going a few years ago in my wheelchair and only eating a couple of mouthfuls.

Back home to watch the 100m finals at the World Championships - Bolt wonderful.

Colour in the borders

 It was so lovely to catch up with Chloe last night and hear all her news. She has had a good first week, although still having lots of lectures. They are beginning to explore their new area on their bikes and finding some lovely spots.





So this week - coffee with friends, some making, a mammogram, exam results, flowers, pasta evening with the girls and finishing with ballet in London.

Beautiful green

Red dahlias

Unusual pink lilies

Blue agapanthus

White agapanthus

Red dahlia

More colourful borders

Deep pink dahlia

Grasses

Dahlias

Fellowship rose

Lovely colour combination

Pale blue and cream

Orange

Border colour

Why don't my sweet peas look like this?

Lovely colours

water lilies in the new pond

New pond

Dragonfly

Sparkling water

You can cherish her memory and let it live on

She is gone

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

David Harkins (1959 -     )

Saying goodbye is always hard especially when it is to such a good hand-holding friend. The funeral was a wonderful celebration of my friends life. Her family had recorded lovely messages about her and reflected all that she had been to her family and friends. It was wonderful to see friends from so many years ago - my friend would have loved seeing everyone together. I will miss her. 

Yesterday was a bed day after a very busy day before. It was really wonderful to have coffee with 2 friends that I hadn't seen for many years.  Catching up on their news and filling in the last 15-20 years was great. Yesterday was a good reflecting day. I am a thinker (as I am sure you have worked out by now). For any situation I need to go through all options/ possibilities/reasons.  This is one of the reasons this blog has been so good for me - a place to think aloud. 

So this weekend - some Athletics World Championships, some book sorting , some bookstalling, some church, some Savil Gardens, some cooking and some missing of my girlie.

Graduation and a new home

Balcony view with flowers

 My photos have decided to put themselves in this order and I can't seem to change them! Technology! 

The first few were taken at my visit to Chloe and Eds flat. You can see the balcony with the river just about visible in the distance. 

They have done a great job of making their flat into a lovely home and will enjoy living there for the next year.

River Medway

 Chloe had her first real proper day as a Dr yesterday. She is a F1 (Foundation 1 Dr) and had been shadowing before this. But yesterday the F2s had left and the new F2s are on induction days so Chloe and the 3 other F1 Drs were the only juniors. She was really glad to get stuck in. Its hard to keep on having more and more lectures when what you really want to do is be a Dr! Now she has 2 more days of lectures! However once she gets really stuck in and busy she will probably be wishing for more lectures!

Ed

 She seems to have a lovely team to work with and they have all been very welcoming. She is very lucky to have a 9-5 post to begin with and no weekends. So this weekend they have their first full weekend in Kent (last weekend they had to go to London to clean Ed's house).

Cooking in the kitchen

Proud Mummy and Daddy

 The next photos are Chloe's graduation. We had a lovely day celebrating Chloe's achievement in becoming a Dr. The graduation hall was full of very proud parents as over 100 young people began their journey as new Dr's. 

Hilary, Ed and Chloe

 Today is a day of contrasts - I am having coffee with 2 special friends who I have got in touch with again through facebook. I am really looking forward to spending time with them. 
Then this afternoon I am going to say goodbye to my lovely friend. She has been a very important part of my journey and I thank God for her. Please pray for her family today.

Hilary and Chloe

Enjoying the sunshine

The hats!

Mummy and daughter

The engaged couple

This week....

Although a more peaceful week ahead we continue with our roller-coaster. Paul has been facing redundancy again. It is the 4th time in 2 years. Last week we should have heard if it was going to happen but the phone call was cancelled. Thankfully he has managed to speak to someone and it is looking likely that they will transfer him to a new department (still doing the same job) which will hopefully stop this from happening so frequently. But we still wait for confirmation. So the trusting continues - we put our hands into the hands of the creator knowing He is in charge.

I have just started watching the sermon that Rick Warren has preached on returning to Sadlleback Church 3 months after the death of his son by suicide. He says -  spiritually I've never been stronger," said Warren, according to the Lake Forest Patch. "I've never been closer to the Lord, never had more confidence in God, never been more comforted, never felt more love from God because I've spent a lot of time with Him in these days." What an amazing testimony to God and shows what many of us have discovered that in our darkest days we find God there with us. In the nitty, gritty of life He is all we need. We reach out in the darkness and he takes our hands and walks so very closely with us. 

My appointment with the GP went well. This was my second appointment with my new GP and this time she was ready for me! She had a plan. I SO love a plan! She had written out everything that she needed to talk to me about and went through it. She looked at my cardiac and stroke risk (both high because of all that my body has been through) and my fracture risk because of the tablets I  take and because  I have had 16 months of dialysis. We talked of how well I was doing and she was very encouraging. We talked of gentle exercise and plenty of rest. She again reminded me of pacing myself! Still not always good at that! My blood pressure was the lowest it has been for 13 years! (That is with 3 different tablets however). We also talked of how scary it is not to be having 2 monthly blood tests! This is the only way we can actually see how my kidneys are and we have now moved to 6 monthly bloods. It is a great reminder that they do think that my kidneys are now as stable as they will be at 20% and they don't expect that to change. I will continue to see her every 2 months. 

So this week - more clearing out of shelves in the room I used to store my craft stuff, buying paint for the bathroom at last (it has been having lots of bits done to it which are all now finished), coffee with friends and lunch with Joy to catch up on her holiday news, flowers and sadly a funeral. We are also pet sitting for a cat, some fish and a snake. A life of variety! Paul is really enjoying his trips to London for the Proms. It has helped that he has been queuing in sunshine this year rather than lasts years rain.

Rollercoaster!

It has been a rollercoastal week again, full of emotion. On Sunday I had the last bookstall of our holiday club and thankfully sold enough books to make the bookstall worth doing. The service on the field was great and lovely to see a packed marquee. In the afternoon I took the train to Chatham to stay with Ed and Chloe. It was so wonderful to see their lovely flat. They have a 2 bedroom flat in a tallish block overlooking the Medway river. The rooms are huge and they have lots of space and 3 toilets/bathrooms/showers! They have done an amazing job in such a short time to make it into a home. On Monday Chloe and I went to a garden centre to buy her birthday present (only slightly late) - plants for her balcony. So when Ed came home in the evening we had transformed their balcony. On Tuesday we went into Rochester to visit the cathedral but got distracted by a bridal shop and spent the morning trying on wedding dresses. As a mum it is a wonderful privilege to watch your daughter trying on wedding dresses and it was a very emotional morning - just being there. I am SO glad to be able to be well enough to be part of all the wedding plans. On Tuesday afternoon I sadly left Chloe to begin her new life in Kent. I am so happy to see her settled into her new flat and beginning her adventures as a Dr but it does leave a hole in our lives here.Today she starts in A&E - how scary is that!

On Monday I had the very sad news that one of my special friends has died. She has travelled my journey with me and been my hand holding, praying companion. I will so miss her and my love and prayers go to her family.

So now I am back and sorting out my new craft room. It is lovely to have a space to have all my things and leave projects out to be completed. It is also still Chloe's room. I am glad we have kept her furniture in there and it still feels like her room. Maybe some photos when I have finished.

This month is a month of Dr's. Today GP check up, then a mammogram and dexa scan and an oncology appointment later in the month. Probably blood tests too. Amazing that I have some weeks now when I  don't have Drs visits.

This weekend - a quiet weekend after so much business and a little making!

Frustrated!

I am frustrated of Wokingham - I was due to go to a wedding today. Got all ready - just enough time to get to church before bride. Went to car ..... key hole is jammed and won't take the key! Tried everything but to no avail. So here I sit! 

We had a great week at the holiday club - amazing to see 370+ children all hearing about Jesus. It is so well organised and the children are so well behaved. The experience of 45 + years makes such a difference. Parents who used to come themselves are now bringing their children. 

Tomorrow I am off to stay with Chloe and Ed and see their new home. It will be nice to do a bit of exploring of Kent as I don't know the area at all. I will then be able to imagine them there. 

My new craft room is coming along - well it is a big mess at the moment as I have just dumped all the craft stuff into it. I now need a few days sorting to make it work well. I  am looking forward to having a space to leave projects out.