The ups and downs!

Thank you so much for all the messages, texts and emails I have had this week and of course the visits that have helped sustain me as I travel on this journey.
Thankfully the panic is lessening. I am having waves of panic rather than the constant barrage of panic. The sedatitive is helping at night and last night I slept from 10.30 ish until 3.30. Wow! That is 5 hours of sleep together! For the last 5 years that would be considered a good night! I  was then awake for an hour and half and then went back to sleep until 9! Yes you heard correctly - 9 am! That is a lot of sleep!

Unfortunately I have checked my blood results and my kidney function is slightly down. It is still in the ups and downs of my normal results but obviously we just want them to carry on being stable. Hopefully this is just caused by the steroids as well and as I am not taking them anymore they will return to their happy normal. This caused me to panic - but as Paul says I am allowed to panic about this anyone would!!!!! So this morning I am going to be on a go slow and allow the peace that passes all understanding to guard my heart and my mind from ALL fear. I am held in the creators hands - nothing is a surprise to him. Absolutely nothing. Paul is working on his laptop in my room and keeping me company. All this is so hard for him but he is doing a great job of being calm when I am panicking all around him!!!! Kitty is coming this evening to keep me company - such a long journey for just an evening but I am looking forward to hearing all about her weekend in Scotland. She is good at painting pictures in words so I will be able to see it through her eyes.

Yesterday my friend T came with me when I had my blood test - we had to wait over an hour but the time whizzed by as we chatted. She had caught up with a lot of people on Monday at a funeral and it was so lovely to hear about so many people we hadn't seen for years. A gathering of the clan!
Tomorrow we are off to see the consultant and to discuss the plan. I am thinking that he will have some ideas but that we will have to go away and think about what we will choose- unless he says that doing what we are doing is enough for now. I will be glad  when we have seen him because I will then know what the next few weeks will hold. As ever I love a good plan!
 I will post when I have seen the consultant and let you know if we have a plan and what it might be.

Ben is nearly packing!!! He leaves on Saturday lunchtime. Today we will make lists! Or rather I will make lists because that will make me happy and he will happily let me make lists!