Tough week

This has been a tough week. The anxiety and panic has continued all week and doesn't seem to be improving at all. Although it isn't in full on panic attacks it is now a constant hum of anxiety without any triggers. I have that pit of my tummy feeling that something bad is about to happen but I don't know what it is. As it doesn't have something to centre on it is very hard to counteract it with truth. I am just anxious. Distraction is the best answer to it because if I am fully engaged in something else then I am much less aware of it. The evenings are the worst when I am tired and it is much harder to be distracted. Thankfully Paul is my wonderful companion and chief distractor! The other really difficult part of the anxiety is that I don't like to be left on my own - this is very weird for me who enjoys my own company usually and is very hard for Paul. We are praying hard that it will go very soon. I am seeing the GP today and I am hoping she might have some encouraging words to say or a solution to at least help me to get though this bit. It is exhausting to have to stay on top of it all the time. 
On the plus side I have managed to reduce the morphine as the pain is much better ( radiotherapy having done it's job I think). I am also going for little walks around the block and beginning to do some very gentle exercise. This is a very positive thing and will help me to be able to get out and about a bit more. All this will help with th distractions. 
I am so enjoying seeing people for coffee and having them bring their lives into my home. This week I have heard about rambling clubs, Malta, holidays, choosing glasses, buying houses, schools choices etc..... If you have offered to visit and I haven't got back to you do remind me. I have been so delighted that so many people have offered and I am now booking people for the week after next. I can't tell you what a difference it makes to my day. I also enjoy reading your emails and messages and try to answer them when I can again if I haven't replied please let me know. Having you accompany me on this journey is really wonderful. 
I am, of course, looking forward to the return of Strictly tonight. As most of you know it is the highlight of my week. Tomorrow I will be watching it with Joy while Paul has some respite from me in a visit to Rigaletto at Royal Opera House. He so deserves some time out from the demands of caring for me. In the daytime we are hoping to go and buy bulbs in the garden centre to plant for the spring. The promise that spring always follows winter is one that has always been very precious to me. Then on Sunday we may manage church depending on how my anxiety levels are. 
For anyone who does see me I am back to not hugging again as the autumnal germs start flying around. There are some quite nasty bugs and I certainly can do without those to add to the general confusion! 
As ever I hope you have wonderful weekend plans that are full of joy.