Well it has been an exciting week. I hope you have read my previous post about home dialysis. It is coming to a my home! Still don't know details but excited to know that it will happen (as long as I can get needling)

We also have a new house-guest, Debz. She is working locally and has come to stay during the week. We are loving having her to stay and I am really enjoying my school conversations with her. It is good to have another girlie in the house.

This week I have done some tidying - it is lovely to have a front room again. I managed to even find the carpet! We are slowly sorting out after our bed moving and the house is beginning to look tidier. We will never have an immaculate house - we are not those people! Throwing away is too traumatic - in case you might need it!

Chloe returned to Southampton on Sunday - we are missing her and Ed and their laughter. However I am not missing her mess!!!!! Her timetable this year is better and may mean she can pop home during the week sometimes which will be nice. This is more of a research year and involves lots of maths (which she is looking forward to) with some placements. It will be good for her not to be so very busy before next year which will be a very hard year.

I am looking forward to my party next week. Thank you to all of you have replied - please do let us know if you are able to come. It is great to be able to celebrate the end of my breast cancer treatment together.

I am loving the sunshine - although wishing I was on holiday by the sea! Hope you all have lovely weekend plans - and if by the sea please dip your feet in for me - and send photos!

P.S. - We have reached 30,000 views of my blog this week. That is amazing, thank you for caring.

Hurrah! Yippee! Yee Ha!

The lady from dialysis she says - yes!

I am on the first list of 7 to start home dialysis. The dialysis matron came to see me yesterday to tell me. I am excited and scared all mixed up. So many questions flooded my thoughts after she came. Thankfully a nurse is coming soon to chat about it all and answer all my questions. Once I am given a date which I think will probably be after Christmas then the training will begin at home. It is very exciting and will change how I feel about dialysis - I hope! It is also scary as it is such a responsibility - it involves my blood- all of it!!!! Not keen for my blood to end up on my bedroom floor!

However it gives me control over dialysis. I will choose when I dialyze in a day. It will probably be 5 or 6 days a week but for 2 1/2 or 3 hours at a time. That time will be able to change depending on what I am doing. This means that dialysis is more like your normal kidneys and you get better clearance therefore better blood results and better overall health. It is better for your heart too. It also means I will be able to drink a bit more than the 750mls I can drink at the moment and maybe even eat the occasional banana.

The biggest issue remains my needling - I need to be able to reliably needle myself every time. Not sometimes but always. We are experimenting with different ways to hold my arm and longer needles and I am sure now I know I will be doing it myself soon I will be even more determined. Please pray that I can get it. I am also learning what to do when it goes wrong or the pressures are wrong or I feel unwell. So that I will be able to cope with all circumstances once I am doing it at home.

As ever I am looking forward to knowing the plan - I love a plan!

Autumn is creeping in - with its darker evenings and its cold mornings. Although yesterday did have some lovely sunshine. We are still wading our way through Chloe's washing ready for her return to Southampton on Sunday. I am SO going to miss her and Ed as we have spent a lot of time with them over the last 2 weeks. (Although I am looking forward to having my front lounge back).

Our house is looking like a jumble sale at the moment with half packed bags belonging to Chloe and stuff everywhere from where we have moved beds. We have been having a big sort out of rooms and furniture which seems to have caused chaos! We are such hoarders and really need to sort and get rid of stuff we don't need or use. I am sure there is a saying about only keeping stuff that is useful or beautiful.

I have had a lovely week spending quite a lot of time with Chloe. We went shopping and to the cinema on Monday. She is such lovely company and we enjoy so many of the same things.

My week has included a lovely meal with friends,lunch with Josh and Debz, the cinema, shopping, tidying, lots of cooking, ironing(my ironing cupboard is empty), sewing, knitting, housegroup, bible study and ladies who lunch, and of course dialysis (thankfully with friends this week which made it pass quickly). I am beginning to pack my days more and sometimes reach 6 o'clock and have to go to bed as I am exhausted. It's good to be doing more though. There are little corners of my house that look tidier because I am more able to do things.

Cancer still lingers at my door - in my thinking especially when I get various aches and pains but I am thinking about it less and less. I am beginning to plan for the future and thinking of plans for next year and even the year after. However I am aware that in the planning I mustn't loose sight of today and the joy to be found in the simple things - the colour of the leaves, the Autumn sunshine, a text from a friend, Papageno's purr when I see him, a patchwork quilt left on my bed, a son singing in the morning, a bible verse speaking to my heart, a good book, flickering candle lights, a kind nurse patiently teaching me, lovely warming food ............

I hope that you are all treasuring your moments and making the most of today - it is our gift.

I am really looking forward to my end of treatment party - I hope you are all coming.

Do let me know at anne@thewhitefamilysite.org.uk

I so want it to be a celebration of the journey we have been on and that includes all of you.

So this week - I have felt that we are back into something that looks like a routine. My days have felt full and I have been steadily busy which is good. Dialysis has been fine and this week I haven't felt quite so rubbish afterwards. I have been taking various tablets at various times to see if it helps. I am cooking all our meals now - which is good as Paul is much busier with work. I am enjoying trying out new things. My fingers have improved slightly and I am able to hold a needle for short periods so have been sewing a bit and I am able to knit for longer times again.

Still no news about my scans so I am assuming that they are all fine. I am sure I would have heard by now if not. I see the consultant at the end of October.

Last night I heard that one of my 'blogging' friends is on her journey 'home'. She has been an inspiration to me in the way she has coped with illness and pain with such joy. Her words about choosing joy have influenced greatly how I have tackled my illnesses. She is very young and has spent the last few years of her life in her flat unable to go out at all. But her trust in God and her overwhelming joy in life is remarkable. My thoughts are with her family and friends as they say goodbye - for now.

I continue to find joy in each day - I am amazed about how much there is to be joyful about. I am content with simple things and thankful to be surrounded by people I love who love me. Life is good.

Autumn seems to be appearing fast. Cold mornings and darker evenings. Although I will miss the sun I look forward to fires and blankets and snuggling down. Strictly and Downton Abbey - lovely.

Chloe and Ed have been camping this week in Wales - the weather has been variable but they seem to have had a wonderful time. They are off to a wedding tomorrow and then Chloe is home for a week with us before returning to uni. I am looking forward to spending the week with her - hopefully some shopping, cinema visits and sewing together.

Josh and Debz come home this weekend for their first visit as a married couple - the logistics are proving tricky - both families wanting their time. Poor Josh stuck between everyone! Nothing is simple! I feel sad that is becoming so difficult to be together as a family. Please hold your children tight and appreciate your time with them now. It goes so very quickly.

I hope you all have wonderful plans for your weekends.

What a week! Last weekend was really wonderful. Such a treat. We stayed at The Royal Crescent Hotel which, as its name suggests is a very beautiful hotel overlooking Bath. We had a lovely little suite of rooms with a courtyard - perfect. Everything was wonderful - the food, the staff, the spa, the massage, the swimming, walking in Bath, the Jane Austin museum etc...... It was a magical few days. I was very sad to leave and then have to go to dialysis. I think I was intended to live a privileged life!!!!

Chloe returned on Wednesday - it was wonderful to meet her off the plane - she must have been one of the first through the gates! We spent the evening looking at her wonderful photos. It was good to have a glimpse into her experience. She had packed her 4 1/2 weeks with adventures of a medical and non-medical kind. It is good to be reminded that we are so lucky to live here and have our NHS. Her last weekend was spent on safari where she saw lots of elephants, warthogs, crocodiles, hippos, hyenas, lions, eagles, vultures and many, many different types of birds. She loved it. She is off camping this week - not quite the same as camping in Africa!!!

Ben has started back at school. It is so lovely to hear him excited about learning again. He has had a wonderful summer with a holiday in Turkey and Reading Festival.

Ladies bible study returns this week. I am looking forward to catching up with everyone.

I have found it difficult to come to terms with school returning this week and knowing I am not returning. I miss the staff and the children and miss the structure of working. I feel aimless at the moment and need to feel that I have a purpose. Dialysis continues to take a lot out of me. So just coping at home is enough really! I am enjoying cooking for the family.

So Friday returns and a week has passed again. We had a lovely day last Monday visiting Henley and meeting Ed's sister and Dad. We also had a lovely lunch in Wargrave at a pub on the river. It has made me realise that I need more water in my life! It was so peaceful to sit and watch the boats by the river.

Dialysis has been somewhat of a challenge. I had hoped that by doing dialysis early in the morning I would then at least gain an evening. But no! All that seems to happen is that I loose the whole day. I arrive at dialysis by 7.30 and get onto the machine at 8 so finish by 12.30 and home by 1. A couple of hours sleeping and I was hoping that I would then be fine - but no. I just feel bashed in for the rest of the day. Hey - ho! Maybe I need to adjust to this new regime and will then feel better. We shall see.

Chloe continues to have a wonderful time (although with a bit of sickness this week). She has seen so many things including a baby being born in the courtyard of the hospital. This weekend she is off on safari and is so excited. There is the possibility of seeing elephants which would be amazing. She returns home on Wednesday so only has 2 days left at the hospital. I think she will be sad to leave - it has been an amazing experience.

This week for me includes our little holiday to Bath - I can't wait, picking Chloe up from the airport, Kitty is coming to dialysis and showing me her photos of Greece and my boy returns to school which means we return to routine and clock watching! We restart bible study - I have missed my ladies who lunch and look forward to hearing all their summer news. This means I need to tidy the lounge so they have somewhere to sit!!!!

My Uncle has just started his chemo - please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers.