Slipping through my fingers

So today my girlie goes back to Portsmouth and I begin to grieve. I know it is a few months away but I can feel the pull of her new life, one that she has dreamed of, becoming reality. The next few months will be lovely as she comes home for revision and then her holiday but the end of July will all too soon be here. I have the privilige of having a wonderful relationship with my daughter, we enjoy so many of the same things and she is a great friend. I know this won't change when she leaves home and starts her new life but we will have to find new ways of spending time together, working around a very busy, exciting job. I have been so lucky to have had her around for 6 years after leaving school especially since she has been my near constant companion throughout my illness. Maybe that makes this moving on all the harder. It is the thing that they don't tell you in antenatal classes - you are giving birth to this lovely baby only to bring it up and equip it to leave you. That is your job! To prepare your baby for independent, adult life. I am looking forward to seeing her life unfold, to helping her choose her new home, hearing all about her new job but there will be that hole in my heart and that space in our home that will miss her. 

So if you have small children - hold them tight, make memories now for the time goes - oh so quickly, the sleepless nights and the tantrums pass, leave the housework and paint pictures.

And if you see me wondering in August with a tear in my eye you will know why - my girlie has moved on.I have done my job!

This song is from Mama Mia and we heard it first in the Summer before Chloe went to uni. I cry everytime I hear it!

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...