A year!

I have been processing today's news for most of the day. My oncology appointment went well and the amazing news is that I don't have to go back for a year. Yes you heard correctly - a year. It feels a bit scary to be left for so long - but as I have said before it is most likely that I  will notice any changes not a 6 monthly visit to a clinic. On a rather sad note though my oncologist is planning to retire and so this was my last visit with him. I am feeling very sad about that. He has been a rock and I have always felt in such safe hands. I am now being transferred to a general follow -up clinic where I could be seen by anyone. That feels quite scary and leaves me without a consultant should I have any panics! Most people don't have their own consultant but because of all my problems  I have always seen him and known he is only a phone call away should the need arise. So this is me in my new normal life! 

The other interesting piece of news that i discussed with the consultant was the research being done on taking hormone therapy for longer than 5 years. i am taking a drug called arimadex and there is now some studies showing that this should be taken for maybe as long as 10 years. I asked him if he thought that was worth considering and he said that he would recommend that I take arimadex or similar probably for 10 years. It is this piece of news that I have been thinking about for most of the day. No-one has talked about my life in terms of a  future longer than possibly the year ahead. With so much wrong just getting through each day and then each month has been wonderful but for the first time we were talking about decisions for 10 years time  - wow! 10 years would see all my children settled and hopefully happy and maybe some grandchildren to get to know. I know that there are no guarantees and everything could come back tomorrow - but just to hold a conversation about 10 years was so wonderful. Maybe this is my new normal! 

I went to visit the dialysis unit while I was at the hospital. The nurses were delighted to see me - some not recognising me with my new fat body and scruffy hair! There was good and bad news. One of the patients I had known well had sadly died but another had had a transplant. It was good to see some familiar faces along with many new ones. Just being there reminds me of where I have come from. I am SO thankful not to be doing dialysis. This is my new normal. 

I think it will take a while for all this to sink in. I am slowly learning to adjust to my new normal life while still working on change. I have warned Paul that maybe he won't be getting rich on my life assurance! He seems happy - with this new normal!