Just enough light?

So the week didn't progress as I had thought. I hardly slept on Wednesday night as I had very bad kidney pain. So Thursday involved many phone calls with hospital and GP surgery, lots of blood tests and urine tests. Visits to hospital and Gps and lots of waiting and praying. To cut a very long story short - I was probably fighting off a urine infection that had spread back to my kidneys, consultant informed and stopped my azathipoprine for a night and recommended not increasing the dose at the weekend but continuing for now on the lower dose. It appears to have settled down now. 

Fear is an interesting feeling and I can easily slip into that place where I allow it to take hold and the memories of dialysis and illness creep into my thinking. Thankfully  I am learning to capture those thoughts and not dwelling on them but casting them away and allow the truths I know to control my thoughts. God has been and always will be in charge of my life and my death. He has numbered my days and only he can halt my life. He doesn't promise an easy road full of rose petals and sunshine. But he does promise he will always be with me - even in those dark nights, even when they can't get my blood first, second or third time, even when I feel pain and doubt that the Drs know what is going on. Just enough light for this step I am on. So yet again I place my life in his hands trusting that he is in control. So much of our lives are about choice - we can choose how we think and feel but we can't always choose what happens to us. 

So - all being well Paul and I are going to see Jeeves and Wooster ( Paul's Christmas present) tomorrow. Sunday we begin our Passion for Life week at church. This includes services, afternoon tea with a speaker, curry night, women's breakfast and a meal again with a speaker. As you can see we are a church who likes to eat! I am organising bookstalls and of course making cakes! 

I hope you have good weekend plans - maybe we will have a few splashes of sunshine.