Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Surrounded on all sides now ......

I can't thank you enough for all the offers of company and help that I have had this week. Wow! I feel completely surrounded by love which is amazing in the midst of the panic and fear. I am now covered for this week and can't make next week plans until I see the consultant on Friday and know what his plan is.  Once I have seen him and know what the next few weeks will bring I will be in touch and will make lovely plans to spend time with you. It has been such a joy to spend time with different people this week and to hear about their lives and their holidays and their familys. My family have railed around and are covering the evenings so that I always have people with me. 
I have just slept for 3 hours again which is wonderful - helped by the sedative and hopefully I will sleep a bit more soon. The panic is still there but it is not quite as pronounced as it was - hurrah! It is so silent at night while everyone else is asleep. Thank you for also covering me in prayer - many of you wake in the night and I know you are praying for me. It has been a hard time for praying myself - in the midst of illogical panic reaching for God is hard. But he promises to be with us even in the hardest places and I trust that he is. 
Thank you for also be brave enough to share your stories with me. So many of you have suffered the pain of fear and anxiety in the silence of your homes. How hard to do it on your own. I have the privilege of sharing this journey with you all and I am helped hugely by your experiences. 
Tomorrow I am off to the hospital for a blood test to make sure that my kidneys are continuing to battle on despite the barrage of drugs I am throwing at them. Each day that I am further away from the steroids will be a day closer to the fear and anxiety disappearing altogether. 
As ever thank you for being part of my journey. 

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