Good and bad days

I had a great day yesterday. we managed to go to the garden centre and bought bulbs to plant for spring pots. We took the wheelchair which meant that I could stay longer than if I  was walking and we had a good look around. So now I just need to have enough energy to plant up the pots! We then came home and I washed all our duplo in the bath - we are sorting out the toys we want to keep for grandchildren and storing them under the new bed in Ben's room. It is a lovely positive thing to be doing - building for the future. Paul then left for London and I managed a little while on my own before Josh and Debs came to mummy sit! It was so lovely to spend time with them and hear about their lives and things they are doing. They then stayed and watched Strictly with Joy and I. Joy came to do the later evening shift! It was lovely to have company and to chat about who we liked etc... Joy and Matt left at 10.15 and I chatted with Chloe hearing about her traumatic day at work.So much is expected of our young Drs on little sleep and very little food (no time to eat). Unfortunately I had taken the sedative before talking to Chloe and by the time I had finished talking with her, Paul returned and the sedative effect  had  worn off. so I was then wide awake and didn't manage to get to sleep until 4am only to wake up at 7am. That is not enough sleep for a poorly person so today has been a real struggle. But I have been thinking this is a forward move because I would say over the last 2 weeks all days have been quite a struggle but at least I have now had a good day and can assume I will have more good days, and that's ok. It is so easy in this position to focus on the negative rather than in every situation looking for the good. 
So today I have been watching the Ryder Cup with my trusty guide (Ed) on the end of the phone to answer all my questions. I have made score sheets ready for next weeks Strictly, which, all being well, I will be watching with Kitty. I have written up our bible study notes and caught up on emails etc... Nothing that takes too much energy but hopefully meaning that tonight I will be able to sleep better. 
The GP was a complete star on Friday - I am sure that I have told you already how wonderful she is but she makes such a difference to my care. She  went through all our concerns and made plans for each one. She was unable to say what exactly is causing the anxiety but thinks it is probably a combination of steroids, morphine and withdrawal of both of these and general anxiety about the situation I am in. She was happy for me to take more sedative if necessary and will see me weekly to keep on top of it. We discussed my difficulty with eating and she has given me some drinks that can at least give me some more calories but are also friendly to my kidneys. It is unbelievably hard to eat when you aren't hungry and feel sick most of the time. I can't even discuss food or plan meals with Paul. We also discussed reducing the amount of morphine which will reduce all the side effects that it brings. 
So this week coffee with friends, visits to garden centres, visits to Hobbycraft for projects, blood tests, bible study, lots of strictly and it takes two, and hopefully at least part of the Away Day on Sunday with church. And hopefully more better days than bad ones.
I  do hope your days contain much to bring you joy this week.