Just enough light for the step I’m on – I need to listen to those words and not try to step onto the next step too soon! This week I have continued to learn what it is like to live beyond treatment. I am still anxious about the bone scan - concerned it might show up something and my life will change again. It would be wonderful if it is clear and I can get on with this new life. please pray for Monday 12.00 that they are able to get a needle in and the dye in and that it is clear.

I have missed blogging – I miss sharing my thoughts in writing. Working through the issues with you all. I continue to work at the issues of suffering and why God chooses to allow those he loves to suffer. I am learning so much and have realised that our lives are about so much more than we think they are day by day. It is so easy to get lost in apathy – just dealing with the trivialities of the day ahead. We don’t see the big picture and we don’t see eternity. I think that is why sometimes God allows us to glimpse the big picture and to see how tiny our daily struggles are. If only we could live each day with the big picture in view – how different our attitudes would be, how different our conversations, our relationships.

I have enjoyed my week – being busy.

Sunday – I drove to church on my own (Paul was in London) lunch with my Ben boys outside in the sunshine

Monday – tidying, visiting the library and Holme Grange

Tuesday – Dialysis

Wednesday – Lovely trip to M&S, spending my voucher

Thursday – dialysis with Kitty, meal cooked by me with Matt, Joy, Kitty, Talia, Chloe, Ben, Paul and me. We lost Papageno after the meal and then spent almost an hour trying to find him in the dark – don’t want to do that again.

Friday - tidying of Ben's room ( a big task) cooking for Ed and Chloe and watching Harry Potter ready to see next one on Sunday.

The week ahead is busy with nice things, BBQ, Harry Potter, bone scan (not so nice), dialysis (also not so nice) meal out with Chloe and Ed and then my girlie goes to Uganda next Saturday. I expect that there will be a lot of packing and unpacking! I am looking forward to the sunshine. It is a shame that I can't usually see the outside from dialysis - I will imagine that I am gazing at fields, rivers, lakes and mountains all glistening from the sun.

Today Mark is coming with me to dialysis. i am looking forward to catching up with his news and the girls news.

I hope you all have wonderful weeks planned - I know lots of you are going on holiday this week or returning from holiday. Do share your holidays with me - I love to hear and see photos of them. I can at least live a little through your eyes.