Sunny Wednesday - hurrah. How nice to wake and see the sunshine. I am feeling better today - much less tired. Hopefully will be able to get things done off my to do list today. I am wondering how I ever managed Christmas and working!!!! Hopefully I will manage to get on with another project today.

Papageno is much better - hurrah! He has been such a poorly cat and our washing machine has been very busy after lots of little tiny accidents. Today he is off to the vet for a check up and hopefully will say he is much better. Phew - that was scary. We would have been SO sad if he had died. Paul has become very good at giving him tablets which is a great help.

Today I am popping into school for coffee with whoever is not striking. I am hoping to collect my bits and pieces which have been left there for the last 2 years. An acknowledgement that I won't be back to work. I think I have come to terms with that now.

My arm is still growing and yesterday I felt quite sad about it. It is such a visual reminder of the surgery which is usually not visible. Hopefully they will be able to help and it will get a bit better. It is only vanity though which is nothing. I am still able to laugh about it. As I have one skinny arm and one elephant arm!

I seem to be continuing with this blog now. I have got back into the habit of writing again. Mainly I seem to waffle on about my quite unexciting life. I do appreciate that so many of you come to read about it though. Remember to let me know about your lives too. I love hearing about you all.

I have just checked my blood test results from yesterday and they remain stable. My potassium is bordering the low end which is good and means I can eat a bit more potassium foods. My phosphates are perfect. which is wonderful. The diet is working well. The creatinine and urea remain stable. I am SO grateful not to be having dialysis.

Another sleepy day today. I continue to be very tired after the weekend. Tiredness is strange now and makes me feel like I have flu. all my muscles and joints ache and I am exhausted. However I have managed to go to the hospital for a blood test and make flapjack - hurrah I am allowed flapjack. Debz and I have finished one of my projects which I can now tick off my list! Bunting! If I ever mention making bunting again remind me what a tricky time I had making it last time! Still it will look lovely hanging up I am sure. Still list of projects to get on with.

Where did that weekend go? It went so fast yet we packed loads in. The hotel was in a perfect location for the theatre and for town. It was a bit 'old' and needed a bit of loving but it was clean and warm and served as a good base. We visited the 'German market' on Friday. Not quite sure what a German market should be like but maybe not like that! A lot of food stalls and not much else. Still it was lovely to be with Chloe and we filled the time with chatting. We went to see White Christmas in the evening with Aled Jones as the main lead. It was wonderful. It brought back many happy memories of singing the songs with my Dad and sisters. The production was great and they stuck to the storyline well.

Saturday was quite a grey day but lovely to see Chloe's house and meet some of her house-mates. I can now imagine her there. She has a lovely big room which, amazingly, was very tidy! We had a great lunch in a comfy restaurant where you could watch the world go by. After a sleep to recover we went to Chloe's concert which is a great mixture of jazz and gospel music. I loved it. The sound of over 100 young people singing is amazing - all organised and run by students - fantastic.

Sunday began grey but quickly became sunny with a chilly wind. Southampton often has that seaside, windy feel to it. I could even see the sea from my window in the hotel and the boats sailing in. Chloe and I went to a craft market based at the uni. It was wonderful - absolutely huge. With so many very original crafts and lots of ideas. We both came away wanting to 'make'. We then popped into town to have lunch and then back to the hotel so that I could gather up my things. By this time I was exhausted and wondered if I would manage the journey home. Thankfully the train was waiting in the station and I could get a seat (as later it was packed). Paul came and met me from the station and helped with the suitcase. I then watched strictly from the night before in my warm jamas and went to bed!

It was a really wonderful weekend and although exhausted today I am so glad that I could manage everything that I wanted to do. I even managed the 3 sets of stairs as the lift was broken in the hotel and stairs are not part of my lifestyle!!!! I did have to stop a lot and people who passed me must have thought I was pathetic!

So back to life - this week is full of Christmas planning, finishing cards, buying presents and the odd blood test. With quite a lot of resting to recover!

Another grey November day. A quieter day today - full of possibilities. Tomorrow I go to Southampton for my first proper weekend away for over 2 years. I go on Friday and come back on Sunday - a real weekend! I am really looking forward to Chloe's concert on Saturday evening. And to seeing her house as I haven't seen where she is living this year and I can't imagine her there until I have seen it. I am also hoping to meet her house mates. I hope I have enough energy to do everything I would like to do.

Tonight we have Debz's sister coming to stay so we will have a house full of girls. I am looking forward to catching up with all her news.

Yesterday when out for coffee we saw 2 people who I knew from the school gates. They smiled said hello and asked how we were. Luckily (for them) we were on our way home so I just said - fine. I never quite know what to say now when people who don't know what has been happening ask me how I am. I am sure they didn't want to hear my life story but to just say fine some how doesn't seem right either. Occasionally I have said - 'I have been very poorly but I am much better now'. The trouble with that is they usually then ask - oh what has been wrong? And it is such a long story and to miss any bit some how seems to miss the opportunity of speaking of what God has done. So sometimes - I am fine is enough!

Sleep is still evading me. I am very tired when I go to sleep but I wake frequently and this week I have been waking in a panic. I have no idea what I am feeling panicky about I am just feeling panicky. It feels like there are things I need to do that I haven't done but I don't know what they are. Hey - ho! Maybe this is just part of the recovery journey?

Today coffee with 2 friends, some tidying, cooking and housegroup this evening all being well.

So here we are again - its thanksgiving week in America and we are reminded to be thankful. And I am SO thankful. I am thankful for all of you who have followed my journey and sent your love, thoughts and prayers my way. I am thankful for my family who continue to walk this way with me. And mostly I am thankful to my Father God who has given me this journey and never left me alone. I am amazed when I look back on this year. Although it should be the worst year of my life - it isn't, it is full of memories of wonderful things which have happened (don't get me wrong I don't want to repeat it) but I am thankful for so much that has happened. I continue to look and find the joy in most days with the occasional blip!

Today I am cooking for a friend, having coffee with another friend and going to parents evening. I hope you are able to be thankful in your day.

Monday and the week starts. I felt a bit panicky when I woke this morning thinking about all that the week will bring and whether I have enough energy for it all. After last week and feeling so tired I am aware that I do need to fit in plenty of rest but I so want to get on with life. I have so many more hours to fill! I have so many started projects and I need to get on with them all. At least many of those are sitting projects. I think I need some more lists! With maybe an overall list of my lists!

I am still struggling to drink 2 litres - my brain is over riding my drinking. So now we have a 2 litre bottle filled at the beginning of the day and we take out the fluid as I drink. That seems to be working better. 2 litres is a lot of fluid for anybody let alone someone who has spent for 16 months not drinking.

Hope you all have lovely weeks ahead.

Lovely weekend. I went to the hairdressers on Saturday and changed my hair colour from salt and pepper to a sort of red. Not quite right but much better than grey. Then tea with Joy and Matt, catching up with their news and watching strictly. Today church with my biggest boy and his wife. We then spent the day with them. I was very proud of how they dealt with a crisis today. Its lovely to see them working together and finding solutions - supporting one another - a proper married couple. We had the opportunity to talk about forgiveness in 2 very different situations but they are learning the hard way but learning to put it into practice and not just to speak the words.

The week ahead is busy - lots of friends, cooking, coffee, a parents evening, a sleepover and ending with a weekend away to Southampton. I hope I have enough energy.

So lovely to be able to tell the rheumatologist that I had stopped dialysis - he was delighted and kept saying - how amazing all the way through the consultation. He understood the impact that would have on my life. His only concern was my arm and the possibility that the swelling in my arm might be caused by superficial blood clots as a result of the autoimmune disease. He has given me antibiotics for a week to treat it if it is this with the warning that if it becomes painful I must go immediately to a and e. I felt slightly disappointed to even think it could be more autoimmune stuff - I had hoped we had finished with that - but hey ho we will see. He has was happy to say that the scleroderma remains dormant. All being well I will go back in 3 months. The trouble with all that I have wrong there are no guarantees that they will remain in remission and they will be part of my life always. It is this that reminds me that I must go back to living each day as it comes.

I have just enough light for the step I am on and no more.

I have seen the renal consultant today - I saw the senior consultant who was delighted for me. He is very pleased with my blood test results and feels that I should now be drinking 2 litres a day - how will I ever manage that? We looked at all my results and went through what they mean. He was very helpful and I now feel I know what we are looking at and what would concern them. We did discuss the future and basically with a bit of beating around the bush the answer is ...... he doesn't know! He is hopeful for the immediate future that I won't need dialysis but he can't say what the future holds and whether I will need dialysis. His hope is that I won't need dialysis for a very long time. We decided we would take that! The dietician was very helpful and told me I was a model patient! We have come up with a plan which we are both happy with. This involves taking all the rules and modifying them slightly. Slowly adding in foods and watching my blood results carefully. It was very strange being seen in a completely different clinic which will become another second home in future. So next blood test in 2 weeks and then all being well see consultant in a months time. Wow! A whole month without Drs.

Tomorrow I see rheumatologist - will let you know how that goes. As ever thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.

Thankful for new days. Yesterday evening I was exhausted and all my joints ached. I think this is a sign that I have done too much. I am trying to fit so much more into my days and I think that my body is not quite ready for all the activity! I will have to put more rest into my agenda! However my house is looking tidier and my ironing cupboard is no longer vomiting! My washing is nearly caught up for the first time in ages. And we have had yummy new recipes each day for tea. Life is good.

Yesterday I stared the day with a blood count. I arrived just after 8 and they had already seen 47 patients since 7.30 - wow! They are very efficient and have now managed to take my blood from my arm using very tiny needles 2 weeks in a row - first time. I am very grateful for their expert ease as I hate being a pin cushion! I go this afternoon to the kidney clinic for the first time and hopefully we make a new plan. I am also seeing the dietician at last and hope that the plan from her is slightly less strict than I have so far set it. I have cheated occasionally with a couple of things but not many. I so love a plan!!!

Tomorrow I see the rheumatologist which will be good. He always makes me feel better - even when I didn't even know I felt unwell!!! He is so positive. He will be delighted to hear that my kidneys are recovering. He loves plans too!

I am looking forward to seeing Kit today and catching up on all her holiday news and house news. It will be so nice to chat with her - not on dialysis.

I am feeling very grumpy this morning - Paul has just left to go to the church where we have had a break in. How can people steal from a church? and they leave so much mess to clear up. I am stamping my feet!!!!! (well not really but metaphorically).

Yesterday was lovely - a very packed day but it was great to feel so normal. I fitted in 4 activities along with normal Monday morning stuff. Wow! Not long ago I could do one thing in a day and that was it. How quickly I have forgotten how awful that was. It is good to be able to go back and look at my blog as I have detailed my life. This day a year ago I was 2 days away from surgery and feeling anxious. What an amazing difference a year makes. Having more energy is making such a difference as I can plan so many more things and even sometimes fit in extra things that I haven't planned. I do get very tired by the evenings but that's ok.

I am still struggling to drink but it is beginning to get easier. Paul is very good at reminding me. I am feeling ok and hoping my blood tests show on Thursday some more improvements. It will be interesting to see new Drs and have a new plan. I have spoken to breast care nurses about my arm and have an appointment to see lymphodema specialists in early December.

Well I am off now - lunch out with a friend today and more tidying (it is a never ending task). Not sure how I had time to work before!!!

Monday morning and we may have a poorly pussy cat. He is very very quiet - usually very vocal in the mornings and usually desperate to get outside but he is just laying on the bean bag in my bedroom. Wish he could talk! He may have a sore mouth as we think he was stung by a wasp in his mouth yesterday. He is such a silly cat as he will eat them. He is insistent that his job in life is to rid us of all creatures. It keeps him very busy! We will be keeping an eye on him.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day with lovely sunshine. A beautiful October has moved into a lovely November although today is more typical - grey! My joints are noticing the change in temperature and are aching more.

Today - plenty of business. I will be tired by this evening.

How lovely to wake to see the sun trying to peep through the clouds. Grey days are hard work! We are already nearly half way through November - where is the time going? Christmas will be here all too soon.

I am struggling to drink enough! Having switched off the messages to my brain to drink when I am thirsty I am finding it very hard to switch them on again. I don't drink when I am thirsty - in fact I tell myself not to drink then. You would think it would be easy to turn those messages on again but no! When I couldn't drink I used to imagine being able to drink whenever I liked!

It is so lovely to have the week stretching in front of me. I have lots of lovely things planned, lunches with friends, coffee out a couple of times. Kit maybe coming on Thursday which will be great as I haven't seen her for ages and I am really looking forward to seeing her Africa photos. I also have 3 or maybe 4 hospital visits to fit in. A blood test on Wednesday, the new kidney clinic on Thursday, Rheumatology on Friday and maybe a visit to the breast care nurse about my arm. Hopefully one week soon I won't have any hospital visits - you never know!

We have booked our first holiday for next year - yippee! I can't quite believe that we will be able to go away - we shall see.

Today church - remembering and roast dinner - yum.

11.11.11 - and at 11 we will stop and remember those who have given their lives for our freedom. I can't imagine what it must have been like to see your boys go off to war (or still is). I read this morning about a family of 8 boys who all went off to war and 5 of them died. How sad. I am so grateful that my boys don't have to go.

My input/ output is interesting and does suggest I need to drink more - wow! I am finding it very hard to drink more as I am so used to curbing all messages from my brain that tell me I am thirsty. I am really struggling to drink a whole cup of coffee. It feels very wrong.

Yesterday I noticed that my left arm is swollen. This is not a good thing as it could suggest lymphodema. This is caused by an increase in lymph in my arm which can't drain as I have no lymph glands under my arm. This will be very difficult to treat as I have my fistula in that arm too and can't wear compression bandages which is the usual treatment. We are going to watch it over the weekend and I will keep my arm up where possible and see if it improves otherwise I think it will be another trip to the hospital - ho hum! There is always something!!!!

We have a quiet weekend planned which is a good thing as I am quite tired still after our London trip. Today bible study and ladies who lunch.

Manon was truly beautiful yesterday. I was particularly struck by the dying scene at the end. It was so poignant and so very beautiful. The way the ballerina managed to drape her body and the emotion of her lover as he held her in her last minutes. I cried from the beginning of the ballet when I was so happy to be back at the Royal Opera House watching a real ballet. Not one recorded. Then at the end as you can imagine I cried lots! People around me must of thought how soppy I was !!! We had a lovely tappas meal ( Paul's first) which we both really enjoyed. Little dishes of different things so suit us. We managed to just miss the student protest which marched down The Strand just after we had walked down it. We could tell by the helicopters hovering over head and the large presence of police everywhere. I arrived home absolutely exhausted. I did manage to walk from Waterloo to Covent Garden and back again as the buses were cancelled due to the protest. Today I am regretting the walking!

I started today driving to Royal Berks at 7.45 to have my blood taken. Its a good time to go as the traffic is still not too busy and you can get a parking space. Its also a good time in the path lab. I only had to wait 5 minutes to be seen (my first time having my blood taken from a vein in nearly 16 months). The phlebotonist did a brilliant job using an old fashioned syringe and a needle rather than the new fangled bottles. I then had a lovely cup of coffee as a reward!! It was very strange going and buying my own coffee rather than being brought it in dialysis. It is amazingly busy at that time with lots of coming and going.

I then returned to the hospital to see the registrar in the afternoon - unfortunately he was still in Windsor! Ho hum! Eventually they found him and the nurses in dialysis reported my blood tests to him down the phone. My tests are mostly looking good - my diet restrictions are working. However a couple are creeping up and he thinks that is due to me not drinking enough!!!!! Goodness I feel like I can't win! So I am doing an input- output chart for 24 hours. I will have another blood test next week before going to the Kidney care clinic - sometimes called the low clearance clinic. - not a good name.

When my results came back today and they weren't as perfect as last week I felt quite anxious as I am beginning to realise how sad I would be to go back to dialysis now. I so love having more time and am really enjoying feeling normally tired rather than yucky every other day. In dialysis I so felt for the patients all having dialysis. They are really lovely and very happy for me but I know they wish it was them.

London today - yippee! Paul and I are off to see the ballet Manon. I am really looking forward to going. I have so missed being able to go up to London regularly and have felt sad when Paul has gone on his own. We are so lucky to live near the station and London is so easy to get to. Seeing the ballet was something I thought a lot about when I was feeling so ill last year. There were times when I thought I might never be well enough to go again. I am hoping to do a bit of Covent Garden browsing too - if Paul can bear it!

Yesterdays business was great although I was very tired by the evening. I seem to reach a point where I switch off and can't cope with any more - I used to be able to just keep going before. It is good to be reminded that I am not better yet and that I still need to be careful. However it is so lovely to be doing so many normal things. I do love my life.

Our new sofas arrived yesterday (I will try and take photos later) and they look so lovely. Its great to have one room in the house which is tidy!

Enjoy your Wednesdays.

Busy day today - 2 x coffee with friends! New sofas being delivered and some cooking - lovely. Not what you would expect from a kidney patient! So much better day planned than dialysis. I am getting quite tearful at the moment as I come to terms with what has happened. I am so grateful to have stopped dialysis. I can't tell you the change it has made to my life already - just in 2 weeks. The biggest change is not having to cope with feeling rubbish 3 days a week. That is a lot of time feeling yuck. Every day I am doing more and fitting more in. I am off now to start my day.

Monday and the week stretches ahead of me. It is so lovely to have so much time to plan. Although I have only gained 3 days a week it feels like much longer as it makes all the days feel better as I am not waiting for the bad days on the good days. If you see what I mean. Before I had to fit everything in on my good days including all my coffee outings and lunches etc.... so there was less time for little jobs here and there. Even on my hospital days I can do other things as I don't feel rubbish afterwards.

Yesterday was lovely - great church although I did cry a bit. I am beginning to come to terms with what has happened and amazed that God has chosen this new path for me. I have always believed He could make me better I just thought He wouldn't choose to - how wrong was I?

We also did a bit of twinkly light buying as last years ones got damaged so I am now the happy owner of white lights twinkling in the lounge and multicoloured in my bedroom. I love twinkly lights.

Yummy roast dinner last night - although I am missing sprouts and gravy. I must get around to making my own gravy now I can have it from a fluid point of view just need to lower the salt content. I am looking forward to seeing the dietician on Thursday and finding out what I can and can't have.

Well I had better be off to start the day - rather belatedly. I am so enjoying not having to rush in the mornings but I think I do need to have some structure! Today is a day for bits and pieces!

Many people in my thoughts and prayers today facing results of tests, recovery from illnesses and accidents, having chemo or travelling difficult paths.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Eph 3

Lovely nothing day yesterday! Spent some of it in my jamas but couldn't quite let myself spend all day in them! I am slowly increasing my fluid - hesitantly as I so don't want to get fluid on my lungs but all seems to be ok so far - I am at a litre now.

Today we are off to church and roast dinner later. Then planning the week ahead. How amazing to have so many days to plan! Just Thursday at the hospital with 3 separate visits. The rest of the week is mine. We are off to London one day to the ballet, lunch with a friend, out for coffee etc... all sounds lovely. Bit of tidying and cooking in-between. Perfect! I have to be careful to pace myself though as I am getting very tired without my 4 hours 3 times a week of lying still! I think my body is quite shocked not to be doing dialysis. I have some sitting projects to do so must fit them in around my activities so that I don't get quite so tired. It is hard to pace myself though as I just want to get on with living!

Enjoy your Sundays.

Saturday - my first Saturday without a hospital visit (except for Josh's wedding) for over 16 months. Wow! I am having a jama day as I don't have to do anything! That is amazing. I think I am beginning to get over the shock and feeling more peaceful about it. I am beginning to fill my days with plans. I just need to remember that although my kidneys are recovering it is early days and my energy levels remain small. I had my first injection at home to help my body produce red blood cells. This will make a big difference once it works as it should take my levels into a normal range and keep them there for the first time since I became ill. The hardest part of giving myself the injection was taking the top off the needle!!!! It is an amazing service that will deliver the drugs to my house every 6 weeks in a special cold van and will take the old needles away. Sounds great - hope it all works out.

I have booked a hotel for my first weekend away - yes a whole weekend Friday to Sunday - yippee! It is in 3 weeks time and I will go to Southampton to see Chloe sing in a concert. I have been unable to go for the last 2 years so I will really look forward to hearing them sing. I am also hoping to go to the theatre while I am there and visit the Christmas market they have. How lovely! Hopefully my blood will be better by then and I will have more energy.

I hope you all have lovely weekend plans. Don't take them forgranted we are so lucky to be able to get about and choose what we do, not tied to a hospital bed.

I am feeling quite odd - like I have landed in a foreign land. I had become used to being a kidney patient who needed dialysis and a cancer patient who needed chemotherapy. But now - I am still a cancer patient and a kidney patient but I am in recovery no longer needing the treatment that I had. The rhythm of my days has changed and it feels strange. Don't misunderstand me I am SO grateful that my kidneys are recovering and that i have finished treatment for breast cancer but I now have to be a 'new me'. I also can't know on either count if this is for ever or just for a time. I am certainly learning hard to take one day at a time and not to look to tomorrow but to make the most of today which is all I know. I am also not completely better I still have little energy although I am trying to do so much more. I get frustrated that I am now not 'well'. Again I need to take each day as it comes and learn to be patient - ho hum! I am still learning the lessons of patience - you would think I had learnt by now - but no I am a stubborn creature!

Reading in a blog today 'God’s purposes are not for me to understand His plans: His plan is for me to understand Who He is.' Ann Voskamp. How true this is - it is not for me to understand why He let me have 3 major illness in the space of 2 years and then allowed me to recover but His plan is for me to know him in this. To know in the depths that HE is there holding tightly to my hand and walking the journey with me. That was my desire when I started the journey and remains my desire now. Faith is this unwavering trust in the heart of God in the hurt of here. Unwavering trust all the time though I don’t understand all the time. Ann Voskamp This is it - unwavering trust all the time even though I don't understand but I trust that He knows. His ways are not our ways.

Today I have ladies who lunch and bible study followed by food shopping for the weekend. Chloe returns to Southampton today - I have been spoilt by her company for the whole week. I am so glad she has been able to share this week with me. What feels like my miracle week.

I arrived at the hospital with mixed emotions today, for 16 months it has been my second 'home'. The staff and patients have been my fellow companions on my journey and I will miss them. It is also a place that I feel safe. However my journey is taking a new turn.

I had my blood test at 8am and saw my morning companions. It was good to be able to chat with them and let them know what was happening. They are all so pleased for me and so understand my amazement. They also know first hand the change this will make to my life. I was sad to say goodbye. It was also the last time I will use my fistula and I will go back to the struggle of finding a vein.

I returned this afternoon to see the consultant who was all smiles. She is delighted with my blood results which remain stable. We discussed what happens now. I am to have one more blood test in a week - yes you heard right a whole week until I need to go back. I will then be passed to the Kidney Care Team who will take over my care. One of the nurses came to see me this afternoon to explain about a drug I now need to inject myself with which has to be delivered to our home. She was lovely and again said what a surprise it is that I have recovered after all this time. Because this is almost unheard of they have no way of knowing if this is temporary or will be for ever. Their advice is to make the most of it now and live a day at a time. Sounds familiar!!! This is how I have been living for the last year! I will continue to treasure each day and make the most of it. Although I can't help thinking of the possibilities of holidays!! The other great news is she has increased my fluid intake again. I feel slightly scared by that as I so don't want to fill up with fluid but it should help my kidneys so I will slowly increase to the new amount of 1 1/2 litres. That sounds so much more than 750mls. Wow!

My life has changed so quickly.

What a great quote this is - delicious ambiguity! To take the moment and make the most of it. You can never tell what is around the corner so how important it is to make the most of this moment right now. And I am! Each day feels like a gift right now. Even with diet restrictions and lots of hospital visits I am making the most of today grateful for each and every moment I am not doing dialysis. It is lovely to have the sunshine to accompany this joyful time. I am trying not to hope too much but it is hard not to as the days pass. I am learning - slowly - not to know but to go with the flow!

I am not seeing the consultant today as she was too busy but I will go at 8 tomorrow to have a blood test and then back to see her at 3 in the afternoon. Then we will have a plan - hurrah! Thankfully I have been able to drive myself backwards and forwards to the hospital as I have been going every other day - even more than usual.

Today more tidying - I didn't really get much done yesterday. I wore myself out shopping! But at least I can now do a bit each day.

Please could you be praying for my friends husband M and for their family.. He came off his bike on Sunday and has broken his back in 5 places. Today he is hoping to have a back brace fitted. It is all so sudden.

Well here we are my first week without dialysis and my first dialysis day and I am not going to the hospital. I used to strongly dislike Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. And now .....! They will be like gift days.

I am struggling to understand who I am now. For over 2 years I have been ill. Hospitals have been the centre of my world and I was only alive because I went to hospital. Without them I would have died very quickly. Now, although I still need to go and very regularly, it would not mean death if I didn't go, I could just go the next day. My life is no longer shaped by the hospital and that feels very strange. What a difference a week can make!

It is interesting that when I became ill I never really thought 'why me' but now I strongly feel 'why me'. Why should I be the one who recovers when so many patients are left on dialysis? Don't get me wrong I am SO SO grateful that it is me. Dialysis was the hardest thing I have done of all the hard things over the last 2 years.

Thank you to all of you who are thinking and praying for me. Please carry on as we remain in this in-between land. My kidneys do seem to be trying very hard. I can feel them chugging away (not painful but aching) and I am visiting the little room much more. My blood tests have remained stable - almost unchanged from Thursday which is amazing. But this does mean that my kidneys are very vulnerable to anything which can further damage them. I have to be very carefully about any tablets I am given as many normal things can damage kidneys. No ibuprofen, many antibiotics, even the blood pressure tablets I take have to be controlled very carefully. My blood results will be monitored very carefully and adjustments made to all my tablets and my diet. However this is a small price to pay for no dialysis.

Today I intend to spend my day being a mummy - cleaning the house, doing food shopping, washing and cooking. What a great way to spend my day! I am so grateful that that is what I can do today. For so long I was unable to do that, it is wonderful to now be able to. Please don't take these things forgranted we are so lucky to be able to get around, to have the energy to complete even simple tasks (still my difficulty is energy levels) and the freedom to take yourself places!