Well here we are my first week without dialysis and my first dialysis day and I am not going to the hospital. I used to strongly dislike Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. And now .....! They will be like gift days.

I am struggling to understand who I am now. For over 2 years I have been ill. Hospitals have been the centre of my world and I was only alive because I went to hospital. Without them I would have died very quickly. Now, although I still need to go and very regularly, it would not mean death if I didn't go, I could just go the next day. My life is no longer shaped by the hospital and that feels very strange. What a difference a week can make!

It is interesting that when I became ill I never really thought 'why me' but now I strongly feel 'why me'. Why should I be the one who recovers when so many patients are left on dialysis? Don't get me wrong I am SO SO grateful that it is me. Dialysis was the hardest thing I have done of all the hard things over the last 2 years.

Thank you to all of you who are thinking and praying for me. Please carry on as we remain in this in-between land. My kidneys do seem to be trying very hard. I can feel them chugging away (not painful but aching) and I am visiting the little room much more. My blood tests have remained stable - almost unchanged from Thursday which is amazing. But this does mean that my kidneys are very vulnerable to anything which can further damage them. I have to be very carefully about any tablets I am given as many normal things can damage kidneys. No ibuprofen, many antibiotics, even the blood pressure tablets I take have to be controlled very carefully. My blood results will be monitored very carefully and adjustments made to all my tablets and my diet. However this is a small price to pay for no dialysis.

Today I intend to spend my day being a mummy - cleaning the house, doing food shopping, washing and cooking. What a great way to spend my day! I am so grateful that that is what I can do today. For so long I was unable to do that, it is wonderful to now be able to. Please don't take these things forgranted we are so lucky to be able to get around, to have the energy to complete even simple tasks (still my difficulty is energy levels) and the freedom to take yourself places!