So lovely to be able to tell the rheumatologist that I had stopped dialysis - he was delighted and kept saying - how amazing all the way through the consultation. He understood the impact that would have on my life. His only concern was my arm and the possibility that the swelling in my arm might be caused by superficial blood clots as a result of the autoimmune disease. He has given me antibiotics for a week to treat it if it is this with the warning that if it becomes painful I must go immediately to a and e. I felt slightly disappointed to even think it could be more autoimmune stuff - I had hoped we had finished with that - but hey ho we will see. He has was happy to say that the scleroderma remains dormant. All being well I will go back in 3 months. The trouble with all that I have wrong there are no guarantees that they will remain in remission and they will be part of my life always. It is this that reminds me that I must go back to living each day as it comes.

I have just enough light for the step I am on and no more.