OK so my plans don't seem to be other peoples plans. I thought it was all going well. 4 chemos and be finished 1st June with 5 weeks to recover. Sounds just right ....mmmmmmmmmmm. I received a letter in the post yesterday saying that the chemo was sorted for this week and the plan was to have 6 doses. 6 - yes you read correctly 6 that is not my plan and not what we agreed. I screamed at the letter - enough! I am struggling to accept this. It would mean that I would have the last chemo the week after Josh's wedding. NOT MY PLAN. Once I had calmed down and talked it over with Paul and Chloe I have decided not to do anything rash - like walking into consultants office and shouting NO WAY!!!! I will see what the side effects are like after this first dose and then discuss it with him. It may be possible to have a gap between doses 4 and 5. It is so hard to know what to do as going to Josh's wedding is my priority and I so want to enjoy that weekend. But I don't want to regret not having the treatment and the disease coming back. I also want to be able to go to Chloe and Ben's' weddings one day. Sometimes life is rubbish!

Today - dialysis this afternoon - a bit later than usual so that I maybe able to see the consultant to discuss what is happening to my heart. I am also hoping to visit Tescos to get bits and pieces ready for the chemo and sickness again. I need to try and maintain my weight better this time. I can't loose another 2 stone as I will turn into a skeleton!

I had a lovely day yesterday, coffee at a garden centre and a visit to school and then coffee with a friend later catching up.

Tomorrow looms large - just want to get it over and done with.