Awake at 2am

Awake at 2 am and remembering. I went to get a drink and remembered the scary nights of steroids when I would wake with a huge jolt and in a panic for no reasons. And the nights after dialysis when I would wake feeling so poorly, or the nights awake after chemo just hoping I wouldn't be sick again. Tonight I am just awake for no other reason than I am awake and I feel so grateful for my new normal life. I am settling back into routines after our holiday and enjoying normality. I am steadily busy which is great, my days filled with gentle activity along with some resting. I still have a huge ironing pile - I don't think that will ever change but I am managing to  keep the house tidy (mostly), I cook our meals from scratch and even make cakes. I have learnt not to be a perfectionist about anything and accept that there will always be things I can't do. I am managing to fit in some gentle exercise most days. I am a happy bunny! It is good to look back but even better to look forward. We are planning holidays for next year and visits to the theatre and of course we are planning a wedding (I get goosebumps just thinking about that) I continue to write lists of things I would like to do and we steadily tick them off. I have enjoyed meeting up with old friends and hope to do more of that next year. As Autumn approaches and the darker, colder evenings I am more content to snuggle up with my knitting/sewing etc... and plan for more adventures next year. My cathedral visiting hasn't done so well this year so I must try harder with that next year. I am hoping to learn to play the piano (if my wiggly fingers will let me) and I would like to do more bird watching - maybe with someone who knows about birds rather than my slightly random guessing! I am hoping to do a bit of painting this Winter to try and capture a bit of what we saw at St Ives. I am hoping to increase my walking a bit and manage 2 miles this Autumn.

I am so thankful for my life and want to capture every opportunity. Life is precious and we should never take it forgranted.

“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

Julian of Norwich.