Monday, 28 October 2013

I don't know all the answers......


‘I don't have to know all the answers. I just have to know that God knows, that he's good and that he loves me.’ Rick Warren – Pastor of Saddleback Church

I needed to hear this today. I am still struggling with feeling unwell after last week. I am also struggling with more pain in my hands and feet and we are beginning to wonder whether the rheumatoid (RA) part of my autoimmune is creeping back. This would explain why my evenings have been getting worse recently. It is so hard to describe the tiredness that comes with RA – it is like having the early symptoms of flu where every bone aches and everything takes too much energy, along with a general feeling of nausea which leads to sickness if I don’t rest. I have a GP appointment next week and I will ask her to refer me back to see my rheumatolgy consultant. So we shall see. It may mean I need to go back on methotrexate to stop the damage to my joints. Although we will have to check that with the renal team so that we don’t damage my kidneys any further. As ever nothing is simple with me! Pain killers are also tricky as I can’t take many usual tablets without causing problems for my kidneys. Thankfully paracetamol are ok.

It is easy to slip into self pity – poor me! But I need to go back to what Rick says – God knows, he’s good and he loves me. I need to listen to that.

3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you are feeling so poorly. It is very comforting to know that God knows the answers and we don't need to but it doesn't take away the immediate pain. Thinking of you loads. xxxx

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  2. Thank you Rebecca - you are right but I am learning (slowly) that self pity only makes everything worse! Feeling a bit better today so thankful for new days. Ax

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  3. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. The keys to contentment are so good too but also quite hard to put into practice. As you say though, in the long run, if you can do it you are bound to feel so much better about everything. Contentment in the difficult times is certainly a worthwhile goal. Thank you for continuing to inspire me and I am sure many others with the things you are dealing with/learning. You are a real blessing. xxxxxx

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