Surgery - no problem

So here we are Monday again! Paul is doing so, so well. He was first on the list for surgery on Friday which was nice. He had taken the bus and train to get to the hospital at 6.30 in the morning. Ever independent! It was a long wait until I heard from him at 1 o'clock after he had woken up. Even though I was sure all would go well there is still that little niggle ( not helped when Paul started looking for our will a few days before the op!) He wasn't worried but just wanted me to know where it was. We were hoping he would be able to come home in the afternoon but unfortunately he was sick and so it was evening before Matt could pick him up. Paul was relieved to be home - not wanting to have to stay in. The first night was a bit tricky as he had to sleep sitting up due to the pain in his shoulders from the gas. But since then he has been getting on really well. He even walked to Waitrose on Sunday afternoon - he decided that was a bit far - after the event! I am so proud of him. This week he has a few little projects to get on with. We have coped quite well although I have been aware of all the little things that Paul does every day which I struggle to do. On Saturday night I was asleep really early - exhausted from just the extra little things I had done and frustrated by all that I can't do. 
This week is about recovery - we haven't planned too  much and will just see how Paul gets on. I will be found near a TV or radio following the Commonwealth games which have been wonderful 
My thoughts and prayers are with all my church friends who are holding a holiday club for about 350 children. What an amazing opportunity to tell so many children about Jesus. 
I hope you all have wonderful summer plans. 

Weekend photos

Canterbury Cathedral

 These are photos from the weekend - see post below for words!

A light kept burning to remember Thomas Becket

Beautiful view

A body of nails

Chloe and a lizard

Lunch at the marina

Boats!

Lovely weekend

We have had a lovely weekend with Chloe and Ed. We managed Canterbury Cathedral - I can now tick that off my list! It is huge and has so many little chapels and a very large crypt. The spot where Thomas Becket was killed is very poignant. It was very busy. We had lunch in a lovely cafe with delicious food - my favourite pate. I now have starters as my main course when we go out for meals and this seems to work well. I am a cheap date! Then a little shopping while Paul 'did' the cloisters. We visited a pottery with such lovely, lovely things - I could have bought the whole shop! On Sunday - after much discussion - we visited Shorne Country park - perfect for a short walk and coffee and cake. Then lunch at the marina - watching boats. Ed's perfect spot! It is amazing to think that their year in Kent will soon be over. It has been interesting to explore more of a county that we didn't know but we are looking forward to having Chloe and Ed nearer. They move in 2 weeks and Chloe begins in Kingston a few days later. 
So this week - it is strange not to have the routines of the school day any more both for me and for Ben. I need to find new routines to define my week. I have a mountain of washing to do - still working through bedding from wedding week and holiday washing. I think we must have another families washing as well - it feels never ending! Recovering from weekend, blood test, flowers and I am hoping to do a little cooking now the sickness is lessening, the Proms have started so Paul will be off there a couple of evenings this week before his op on Friday puts paid to any more for a bit. He is anticipating a 2 week recovery period - so our 'nurse' will be busy! I hope all my 'school' friends have wonderful summer holiday plans. I am sorry I haven't got to visit this term. Hopefully next term I will be feeling much better. 

Eyes off the plan.......

This has been a tough week. I am still struggling with some background nausea and knew that I had to speak to the hospital to tell them I had stopped taking one of my drugs. For me it is always a balancing act between the need for drugs and the difficulties of the side effects. My kidneys hold onto the drugs much longer meaning that I have more side effects or that they last longer at lower doses. The azathioprine had been making me very sick and eventually I couldn't cope with the sickness any more. Some level of nausea and sickness is ok but I was being sick 2,3 and sometimes 4 times a day. It is very hard to manage life when you are that sick and even harder to cook. After a discussion with the GP, who told me that I was looking more poorly than she had seen me we decided that I shouldn't restart the drug but phone the hospital. They were very helpful and I have a few options to try before I go back for my appointment at the end of August. It looks like it is a bit of trial and error ! Unfortunately these drugs take ages to work and ages to leave your system so it takes a long time to work out whether I can manage without them or what dose I can tolerate. Basically I am turning my immune system down so that it doesn't fight my body but not so much that I can't tolerate the side effects. 
This has all been very hard and has left me struggling to cope. I love being busy and nausea and sickness make this very difficult. I have lost sight of the plan and I am never happy without a plan! Thankfully my ladies have reminded me that God is in control and has a plan even if I have taken my eyes off it. How easy it is to sink into the poor me place and wallow! Never a good thing to do! So today I am going to ' fix my eyes upon Jesus' .....' and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his wonder and grace' 
This weekend we are going to Chatham to stay with Chloe and Ed before they move to Kingston. We are hoping to visit Canterbury Cathedral. I hope you all have lovely weekend plans in the sunshine. 

Holiday

Ben and Anna on train

Sorry for not posting sooner - I came back from holiday with very nasty toothache. Thankfully after a few problems the dentist managed to fit me in in his lunch-break yesterday and I had root canal work. so fixed for now. I go back in 6 weeks.

The view from our bedroom window

 Our holiday was wonderful - blue skies and blue sea every day except our last day. Just a couple of showers, which didn't spoil anything. 


Our little house was lovely and had everything we could need. The views from the windows were amazing. 
The house was positioned perfectly so that I didn't have to walk very far to anything and the others could go off and be busy when I needed to rest - which was quite often.

The lifeboat out on a practice

 I was aware that this year I am much less able to walk very far and have to rest more often. Thankfully the sickness wasn't too bad. 
We went to the Tate, had a boat ride to see seals, saw dolphins swimming in the bay, went bird watching in Hayle estuary, visited lots of little shops and  went out to lunch in the most beautiful cafe.

Lunchtime view

 It is lovely to have a break from home life and stop and take stock. 

It feels strange to be home now and not have a wedding to plan. A year of planning has meant that it has often been in my thoughts. 
Time for me to go back to craft making - I haven't been doing much recently. 

Paul pointing out birds!

 So this week - Dr's appointments and dentist, bookstall planning for our holiday club, clearing up from the wedding still left to do, washing and more washing, flowers at church. Paul, Josh and Matt are off to see Monty Python tonight at the O2. 

Soggy's house

 Paul has his surgery booked to remove his gallbladder on Friday 25th July - so we will be even more hospitally next week. Good job we have Ben here to play nurse! Poor him - not quite what he planned to do with his summer holidays.

The bay

Is this in England?

Ben and Anne on the beach

Wedding post 5

This will be my last wedding post for now! I have so enjoyed writing down my thoughts about the day. Thank you for allowing me this indulgence. 

Having returned home at 9.45 and after a few hours of being sick and sleeping I had a text from Paul to say that he was going to have to walk home from the marquee., ( the taxis were all busy and would be at least an hour before they could collect him)He had stayed until everyone had gone, to lock the hall and leave everything safely until the morning clear up. I couldn't leave him to walk home at 1 am knowing we had to be back at 8 am to get the hall cleared for church to use it. So taking my bucket I drove to the church to collect him. It was a magical evening, warm and so beautiful. The lights were still twinkling in the lane and there is something rather lovely about a marquee after the parties over. Paul was very happy that everything had gone so well. It was lovely to chat about the day on the way back as I hadn't been able to do that when I had got home. Unfortunately I then spent the rest of the night being sick and so was unable to go to the field to help clearing up. But Paul was up and off at 6.45 to start the mammoth task of clearing up. I think he had a few minutes of worry as the time got nearer to 9 and he was still the only one there. But at 9 - the A team arrived and within half an hour they had cleared the hall leaving it ready for the Sunday Club. Another couple of hours and the marquee was cleared and car loads of stuff delivered to our house! It has taken me most of the week to empty all the bags and store the amazingly large pile of presents ready for Ed and Chloe to open when they return here. I have loved reflecting on the day with Paul and with Joy and Kit. I have stored the forever memories in my heart to be returned to (as I do with Josh and Debs wedding memories) when ever life is tough, and of course at many other times too! We are really looking forward to seeing Chloe and Ed again soon and talking over the day with them. It seems really strange not to have chatted to them about the day. I am also looking forward to hearing about Chloe's first sailing holiday. I am sure she will have loved every moment of it. They return on Sunday and then plan to see the Tour de France arriving in London - what a perfect way to end their honeymoon. 

Soon we are off on holiday to St Ives which we are really looking forward to. Anna and Ben are coming with us - so we will love sharing this special place with them. I am hoping for enough sunshine for a little swim in the sea - maybe that is a hope too far this early in the season but certainly a paddle. We have a little house overlooking the bay again so are looking forward to seeing Cyril the seal. I have many books on my kindle and my sewing to do, while the others are off exploring. 

photos part 4

Ice cream table

Photo of Chloe on ice-cream table

Paul was there too!

My Aunt, Uncle and Cousins

What handsome boys - Adam, Josh and Ben

Ready for lunch!

Caterers getting ready in the background

Tour cake

Tandem topper

Cake and pedestal number 2

Our handsome son-in-law

Some of my family

Ben and Anna

First dance

Dancing ....

singing ........

wedding part 4 - the reception

With the rain pouring down we quickly put up umbrellas and made a dash for the marquee where the catering staff were waiting with drinks and canapés. We were so pleased we had asked Roy - from Barkham Manor Farm - to provide a gazebo, and the marquee company to supply an extra section to the marquee.This meant there was plenty of room to mingle without having to sit at the tables. Earlier, Laura from Crowthorne Cakes had delivered the wedding cake. This was our surprise for Ed. Chloe and I had ordered the cake one day when Ed wasn't around. Chloe told him that it was a beautiful white cake with lilac flowers (even managing to show him pictures of different cakes each time he asked) But it was actually a 'Tour de France' cake. 3 tiers, each one representing a different jersey - polka dot for the king of the mountains, yellow for the leader of the Tour and the bottom one the rainbow stripes of the world champion.  A wonderful lady in Canada made a tandem cake topper with Chloe and Ed's names and the date which sat on the polka dot cake. Ed was very pleased with it - his words 'it is epic! Their tandem was decorated and ready for them to leave on at the end of the evening. 
There was lots of chatting and catching up, hugging and laughing amongst the guests. We managed to get a few photos outside in between showers and then had family photos in the church. I can't wait to see the 'proper' photos. 

Once photos had been done we started our meal. Roy and his team did a fantastic job with the food, which was plentiful and very yummy. We had a hog roast with potatoes and salads. Catering for 200 is a mammoth task and especially when many are big rugby boys! Much to the surprise of the caterers I think we finished the whole hog! The drink was flowing and a member of staff never far if you needed anything. Chloe and Ed took the opportunity to go around and chat with people as they waited for their food. Once everyone had finished (and after seconds) we started the speeches. I wish I could remember every single word that was said because each one was very cleverly put together. Paul, Christophe and Ed each managed to include lots of funny memories but also poignant moments. I doubt there were many dry eyes in the marquee after Ed had finished his - using riders on a tandem to describe how he intended to keep his stoker (the rider at the back of a tandem) happy. 

We then moved onto pudding - yummy lemon or chocolate tarts. All this time there were many children in the marquee who all behaved so, so well. We had made them packs to help keep them occupied and they were so well behaved ,(last minute loombands and cameras with a tick list were great hits) It was good that by this time the sun had come out and they were able to get outside for a bit onto the field. I remembered we still had some paper aeroplanes which kept them occupied until the dancing started.

The band had arrived at some point and had quietly set up. They are called 'The Prototypes' and are brilliant. Chloe and Ed cut the cake and then the band began the first dance. Chloe and Ed danced to Ellie Goulding's How long will I love you? which was very beautiful. I know that Chloe had been concerned that no-one would dance - priming the ushers and bridesmaids to join in but at soon as the band asked people to dance the floor was full - everyone was dancing. At this point I looked around the marquee marvelling that we had managed to organise this!

After the first set of dancing their was more food! Sandwiches and ice -cream. Lily had organised an ice cream table with many different toppings and we had borrowed a large ice-cream machine. The children loved this - and many adults too! We also had cake - again plenty of cake! 

At this point I went home. I was delighted to have managed so long of the day but knew that I needed to be at home now. Thankfully Matt had his car and was able to take me. I managed not to be sick until arriving home - thank goodness. I was sad not to have stayed to see Chloe and Ed leave but so, so grateful to have been there for so long. I only missed the last hour and half. 

So my writing now is from other peoples descriptions! The second set from the band was as successful as the first - lots and lots of people dancing - including Paul who never dances! Ed has many, many cousins and they have a tradition at parties to crowd surf. Just as I was leaving they had found a large ladder and were throwing themselves off it into the crowd below. The musicians came into the crowd dancing with their instruments and generally having a great time. Chloe and Ed got changed into their going away outfits (bought because Chloe decided that riding a tandem in her wedding dress was too tricky). The lane from the church had been lit with lanterns and sparkling lights. They rode their tandem off into the night, the last views were of Chloe waving while Ed peddled hard! - a very happy stoker!

Photos part 3

4 of us - brother and sisters

These are just some odd photos as I don't have any from the church. Thank you Josh and Kit for these. If anyone has one of Paul and I together that would be lovely to see! I did have a hat - but we don't seem to have any photos of that either!
I am looking forward to seeing the proper photos. I love these ones of my brother and sisters - the last photo we had together was at my end of treatment party.

Joy and I

Mark and I

Sisters

Ben and Ed

Josh, Ben and Ed's dad Philip

Anna, Adam, Debs, Jordan and Talia

The goofy gang!

Ed and his dad chatting on phones - when we were planning!

Chloe and Ed

Wedding part 3 - the service

Warning Theresa and Fiona - you may need tissues for this bit!

Once Emma the photographer had arrived we could begin the service. Ed and Chloe both felt the importance of the promises they were making - forever promises before all their friends and family and before God. The church was full but not overflowing. Paul had counted the chairs so many times! Chloe had chosen Pachelbels Canon to walk down the aisle to and the previous day there had been great hilarity when the bridesmaids had sped their way down the church. There was none of that on Saturday. Chloe had 5 bridesmaids (Ed's 2 sisters Jenny and Lily, her cousin Talia, Josh's wife Debs, and Hilary her friend from uni) and they each slowly walked down the church carrying their beautiful purple, green and white bouquets. I couldn't see Chloe and Paul as they entered the church but as they turned the corner I thought my heart might burst with pride. This was it - the moment we had planned for and I had longed to be at when I was  so very ill. Ed turned with Christophe (his best-man) to look at his beautiful bride. Her face, covered by her veil, was wreathed in smiles. Paul held tightly to her hand and looked like the proudest dad in the world. They made their way slowly to the front of the church where Ed was waiting - looking so smart in his morning suit with his perfect green tie ( which had taken about a month to choose). Julian (our vicar) began the service and the congregation stood to sing the first hymn. The sound of a full church singing  'Be thou my vision' was wonderful. We had, had many discussions about where we would sit in the church - our final decision was perfect we could see Ed and Chloes' faces beautifully. They stood to make their promises, their faces aglow as they both looked fully into each others eyes - meaning every single word they said. Both spoke firmly and confidently - I was so so proud of them. The rain poured down outside and the thunder decided it would join in with the promises! Nothing could dampen the enthusiasm of this couple.The tears gently rolled down my cheeks and I am sure Clare (Ed's Mum) was also wiping away a tear or two-  as our children promised to be there for each other in sickness and in health. For us that is a big promise - knowing how marriage for Paul and I has turned out. There was lots of clapping and cheering as Julian announced that they were now husband and wife. We then moved onto sing - My Jesus, My saviour - a hymn we had had at both my parents funerals. It was so lovely to feel them part of the service - how proud they would have been of their first granddaughter. Kit read 1 John 4 - so confidently from the pulpit, even managing to look at the congregation as she read ( always a scary thing to do in case you lose your place). Then Jenny read the poem - I carry your heart by E.E.Cummings her voice just breaking occasionally with emotion. This made it even more beautiful. 

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

 

 

Singing again - Be still for the presence of the Lord - it did feel like He was in this place blessing this marriage. Ed's dads, partners children - Tiffany, Millie, and Georgie  read the next reading 1 Corinthians 13-  bravely going up into the pulpit and speaking confidently.  Julian then spoke - giving Chloe and Ed wise advice about marriage. Then the signing of the register - all the  bridesmaids and ushers and mums and dads came up for this. During the register signing Josh and Ben sang John Legends - All of me. It was their gift to Chloe and Ed and was so so beautiful. Their voices compliment each other perfectly as maybe only brothers can.  The words are so lovely

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you. 

And then we were leaving the church - to Vivaldi's Spring and the sound of the bells. Such joyful music. Unfortunately the rain hadn't stopped so the plans for photographs were put on hold and we made a quick dash to the marquee in a mass of umbrellas!    

To be continued.................

Photos part 2

The Lacing begins and a lovely view of Chloe's hair

 This is just a little taste of the morning - thank you Joy and Debs for the photos.

Dresses waiting to be put on

Lovely smiles - its all going well!

Nearly done

Laura - photographer

Emma - photographer

Kitty looking beautiful

Paul not getting ready!

Chloe and Debs in the garden

Glad to have some dry weather

Beautiful girlies

Clare looking stunning

Debs and Anna

Chloe and Emma