I am not sure where to start so I will start at the beginning and keep going til the end!!

I can't quite believe that it was 15th June when I went to the hospital expecting to stay a day and have a blood transfusion. I was admitted later that day for 4 units of blood. I had a lovely stay in Dunedin looked after by lovely staff.

The funniest moment at Dunedin was related to urine measuring. Any one of a delicate constitution should look away now. I have to measure in put and out put of fluids. The nurse asked me to wee into a container and she would measure it - 'just press the bell when you have done it'. Ok so deed done I pressed the bell. If the bell sounds and is not answered within a certain time an emergency bell sounds. OK so they didn't answer it quickly enough and the emergency bell went off. Before I know what is happening 5 nurses are running at full pelt into my room followed by a Dr calling 'I'm coming' and I am standing in the room holding my wee feeling very foolish!!! Lots of laughter later all was restored to normal.

The hardest time at Dunedin was waiting for the transport to take me to Royal Berks having been told that my kidneys were in crisis and I would probably need dialysis. At that time my blood pressure was through the roof and I was quite out of it.

Paul eventually took me to Royal Berks and we settled into a little side room. Chloe made me a beautiful wall of happiness of all your cards and butterflies all fluttering around. The butterflies are a symbol which we used when I was ill before. They remind me of freedom with God even when our earthly situation is so hard. I was so encouraged by my wall reminding me constantly of all your love and prayers. Chloe is going to replicate my wall at home now.

My stay at Royal Berks was tough but I was well cared for throughout my stay. I have had a huge team of Drs trying to figure out what has happened to my kidneys and why. I have had masses of tests and my blood has been tested for everything. The outcome of all the tests is still unsure but the 'working ' diagnosis is 'sclerederma crisis'. This means that the kidneys have been affected by the sclerederma which is part of the mixed connective tissue disease. However there is still a possibility that it is something called HUS which was caused by the chemotherapy. This makes it very hard for the Drs to decide how to proceed. We will be seeing the oncology consultant today hopefully. The good part of all this is that my kidneys can recover but it may take 3 -6 months to do so. Please pray about this as it would be wonderful to have working kidneys again.

I will be having dialysis at the Royal Berks 3 times a week for 4 hours. It is hard to get my head around this - me sitting still for 4 hours mmmmmmmmmmmm! The adjustment to our lives is huge and has an impact on us all. I have had a permanent line called a Tess fitted under my skin on my chest which has 2 little lines coming out of it to be used for dialysis. I also have a less permanent line fitted into my arm to be used for taking blood and for giving chemo. This is called a PIC line. So I am all set up and ready to go!

I was joined in my hospital room by a lovely lady I will call 'M' She brightened my days. She was 88 years old and very spirited. She slipped easily between reality and a happy world of confusion. One evening she decided that we had been shop lifting and the nurses were actually police officers. She suggested that we should run away before they got us. The image of her with her zimmer frame and me with all my tubing running anywhere really made me laugh. I will miss her morning wave and smile.

So here I sit with my huge bag of tablets working out what to take when and facing the future one day at a time. I continue to completely trust that God is in control and that there is a purpose in all of this. He remains in the centre of the storm holding my hand and calming the waves. He is my rock and my redeemer.