Not such a good time at dialysis yesterday. We had a visit from the lovely renal consultant Dr V. Unfortunately she told me that my Tess line which they use to do the dialysis had moved. This can happen with these lines but not usually so early - mmmmm. This means that I have 2 choices- I can have the line refitted (yucky option as it was so horrible having it fitted last time) or I can have a permanent fistula fitted in my arm. This involves an operation at Oxford Hospital under a local anaesthetic where they join an artery and vein together to make a point to carry out dialysis. This may be difficult as I have such rubbish veins and an operation planned for the future involving one arm and a PIC line in the other one. I never seem to do anything simply! So we will be off to Oxford some time soon to discuss it with the surgeons there. She also told us that the drug I have been having to make new red cells will not work with chemo. So it looks likes I will be having a blood transfusion after all - it will be up to me to decide when I can't cope with my low haemoglobin any more. Chloe and I found it hard to take in all she was saying as we were shocked by the news about the Tess line which can last for up to a year. Thankfully after a nights sleep it all feels better than it did yesterday and I am back in - one day at a time mode!

The dialysis unit was very busy yesterday with new patients and very poorly ones. I was so grateful for Ed and Chloe's company as we had a lot of waiting. It was a long afternoon. However the scrabble went well. Ed didn't fob us off with ship science words! Although he did beat us! Chloe and I getting exactly the same score. Any suggestions for other games we could play would be gratefully received.

I am looking forward to today - no dialysis, coffee with 2 lovely friends and sunshine.

I would appreciate your prayers for the following:

• a good plan for the fistula and that it is simple to carry out
• no infection in my Tess line while we wait for fistula ( it is now much more open to infection)
• that I can make wise decisions along with the Dr about when to have a blood transfusion
• that the new drug I am going to be taking for my blood pressure works well and stops my cough
• that I can cope with the new restrictions to my diet ( looks like chocolate might be out)
• for my chemo to work well and for my kidneys to start working again
• that I continue to live in today not anxious about tomorrow
• for my wonderful family travelling this road of ups and downs with me

Thank you all for your commitment and care for me. This journey would be so much harder without you.