Winter Blues

Another blue sky day - lovely. But I am struggling with tiredness and not being quite right. So blood tests today to see what is going on. It maybe that reducing my epo hasn't worked and my hb is low or it maybe something else or it maybe just winter tiredness. Is that a disease? If it isn't I declare it to be! Dark mornings, dark nights, cold, wet all leads to winter tiredness! 

Still plenty of joy to be found - 

• new friends at family history course
• new lives to imagine on family tree
• bible promises forever true
• warm blankets
• texts from friends
• holiday planning
• shoots appearing 
• snowdrops with their shy faces
• a bag of knitting wool waiting to be used 
• new fingerless gloves knitted by a friend 
• phone calls with new family members
• books to review and share 

So what are you thankful for today despite the winter blues?

Pink skies and busy weekends

From my window I can see a gently appearing pink sky. Maybe a bit more sun for today - hurrah. I can also hear a few birds quietly singing. I am very glad to see then end of the snow. I have started the day with Chloe bringing her cup of tea into bed with me and chatting - what a lovely way to start a day and a new week. She is now on her journey to Southampton to begin her week on AMU (acute medical unit) 

We have had a wonderful busy and packed weekend, lovely friends for the day, Josh for a short time, Chloe and Ed for most of the weekend, Les Mis and a box of tissues, nice meals. Perfect! 

This week brings - tutoring, family history course, meetings, flowers, bible study, The Hobbit, Book Club, garden planning, cooking, a happy week ahead. 

My family tree is coming on nicely - I have now gone back to my great great grandparents reliably(I think) on all 8 sides which takes me to about 1840. I have begun writing our story at a basic level - facts and figures and now need to add in all the bits and pieces which will make it come to life. How I wish I could go and chat to each of my great great grand parents and ask them what life was like. How amazing would that be! How different their lives would have been to ours.

I am so thankful for my comfortable life with electricity, washing machine, dishwasher, hoover, gas, lighting, cameras, televisions, photographs, computers, telephones, street lighting, toasters, x-rays, films, antibiotics etc......  so much we take forgranted every day of our lives that make our lives so easy. I wonder what you are thankful for today?

Grey days

Grey Days at Crean Bottoms By David Jenkin

The sun has been sleeping too long

Perhaps it is dead?

The sky is grey and sodden;

It drapes its misery

Like the shawl about the head.

Walk on, light the fire to

Drive out the damp.

Strike out the negative

Until it evaperates,

And tomorrow can be a better day.

 

This poem sums up today - grey! But I will light the fire and snuggle up and hope that tomorrow the sun shines.  However - before then there is shopping to put away, puddings to cook, some beds to be made and some tidying. Chloe and Ed will be back tonight and friends to lunch tomorrow and Les Mis on Sunday, and maybe my biggest boy popping in for a visit. 

 

 'All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well'

A thread of thankfulness

Nothing is quite right - I am sure you know that feeling. Lots of little niggles, health wise, home wise, sleep wise etc..... I am struggling to find a pattern for my days. I miss the structure of working and need to find a way of making a new structure which takes self-discipline something I am not very good at. When you only have a short amount of available time you fit in what urgently needs to get done. When you can choose what you do when and structure your own days - mmmmm that's when I come unstuck. Life is full of lovely things to do and some not so lovely things and I need a bit of both! When I was so poorly and could only do one thing a day I longed for the days when I could pack my day. I am now nearer to that but still have to reserve energy for certain activities but I feel guilty when I haven't achieved all that I want to achieve. I suppose this is the part of the journey where I am trudging along! Learning to live in the new normal and accepting it for what it is and not longing for more. Thankfulness remains my byword and is the thread winding through my days. Maybe at times it's not quite as obvious as it was but it's still there.

Enough snow!

Ok enough snow now! It is very pretty and I have enjoyed watching it fall but now it starts to impact daily living and it can go. I don't drive in snow and when it is icy I don't walk in the snow either. I have enough difficuties walking normally without snow to help. Thankfully Mr Ocado does drive in snow and bought our shopping this morning so we can eat. 

My family tree is coming on nicely - it has over 280 people in it. Wow! That is 280 people related to me. 280 stories - not that i intend to tell them all! 

So this week some tidying,  lots of washing (I am still trying to get on top of the washing since Christmas), some tutoring, some book sorting for the bookstall, some planning of meals for a busy weekend, some cooking for busy weekend, maybe some coffee drinking with friends, some family history course(thankfully I can walk to it if necessary), some patchwork with friends, some biblestudy, some flowers arranging, some cinema going, some lunch with friends, some family visiting, some ironing, and some family history writing. I had better get started!

Cosy and warm

This is where I spent yesterday, occasionally with Papageno although he is not at all keen on the fire. It was cosy and warm and the perfect place to be writing my family history. I am now back to the 1830s fairly reliably on both sides of my family and I'm looking for the details which make our story come alive. It is amazing what you can find out from forms! I don't want it to be just a list of names and dates, which, however interesting in themselves, really do need padding out to make a better story. 

I was pleased to be in touch with all my children last night (none of whom are at home this weekend) to know that they were all tucked up in homes. It seems very strange not to have anyone building snowmen in our garden - probably the first time it hasn't happened for 25 years.

This weekend we shall mostly stay put with small ventures out for essentials on Paul's part! I had thought that a snowy walk would be a good idea but probably not if it continues to snow. At least I am getting my writing done.

I hope you are all able to stay cosy at home and enjoy looking at the snow.

Snow and family history

Outisde my window the world is turning white. It is looking so very beautiful. However I am so glad I have cancelled everything and can stay inside and watch. I am so grateful that I don't have to go to dialysis. The winter I did dialysis was so worrying when it snowed in case I wouldn't be able to get to hospital. The other patients told me of previous years when they had been collected from their homes in all manor of vehicles and then had to sleep in local B&Bs. I really didn't want to have to do any of that especilally when i was feeling so ill. With dialysis you don't have the option to cancel. 

This week has been a bit of this and a bit of that with a bit of being poorly. I have manged to do quite a lot of family history research which has been wonderful. My amazing bit of news is that because of this blog and my previous comments I have been found by a member of my family. How wonderful is the internet! He is a cousin a few times removed but his grandfather was brought up by my great grandparents. His greatgrandfather was Bijou and my greatgrandmother was Bella. It is so exciting to find him and to be in touch with this part of my family. The other very exciting news is that the painting - 'Popularity' that Bella and Bijou are in is going to be dispalyed in the V&A musuem this year. Bella and Bijou are the couple right in the middle by the policeman - Bella has a white coat on.It is wonderful to have our family history coming alive. 

So this weekend - we are snuggling down with an open fire, cosy duvets, yummy food and each other for company. Thankful for our home and family.